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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Ended... again!

27 replies

Mai5x · 09/11/2018 08:17

Someone help keep me strong please!

4 days before my birthday, always feel pretty shit this time of year, family issues etc... told my boyfriend this on Wednesday, ever since he's hardly spoken to me, made me feel awkward if I do see him etc..

So he went out last night with his friends, started an argument and I got a text this morning to say he never wants to hear from me again, I'm a nasty c*nt and it's over... the weekend of my birthday!!

Just need a hand hold please!

OP posts:

ShatnersWig · 09/11/2018 08:22

You don't need a hand hold. You need a large glass of champagne to toast good riddance to this nasty piece of work. Seriously. You don't need someone like this in your life, so don't be down about it. Be fucking glad about it. Or be angry about it. But certainly don't be unhappy about it.

Original poster

Mai5x · 09/11/2018 08:39

I think that would help haha! A large glass of something anyway!

I just can't believe it, the weekend of my bloody birthday! What a way to make someone feel special eh!

OP posts:

ShatnersWig · 09/11/2018 08:43

You don't need someone to make yourself feel special on your birthday. I've been single for over 8 years. Do I sit indoors with the curtains closed going "woe is me"? Nope. I may do that on other days but not by birthday. If you want to feel special, do it. You can now do whatever YOU want to do and not take into account what that wanker wants. Celebrate birthday and getting shot of a wanker? What's not to like. Fucking great birthday if you ask me.

Singlenotsingle · 09/11/2018 08:45

Some people raise you up. Some bring you down and need to be got rid of. This is one, he sounds really unpleasant. He just didn't want to put his hand in his pocket and get you a present, did he?

Original poster

Mai5x · 09/11/2018 08:47

ShatnersWig - that's very true! Think I need to do a bit of last minute planning!!

Singlenotsingle - hmm maybe! A bit like his birthday! I spent a lot of money on presents I knew he would like, went to his and gave them to him, he then told me he was going out with his dad for a birthday drink, I find out an hour later he's at the pub with a load of girls and ends it with me the next day! Think I should have known from then that he isn't the one for me!

You live and learn I suppose...

OP posts:

Tattybear16 · 09/11/2018 08:51

He’s given you the best birthday present ever. Rid of the selfish git. Enjoy your birthday, do something for you and def have a glass of something special to celebrate.

Weenurse · 09/11/2018 08:54

💐 happy birthday

Singlenotsingle · 09/11/2018 09:03

Haha; Shatnerswig always makes me laugh. Always down to earth.

ShatnersWig · 09/11/2018 09:07

@Single You're too kind. I'm not always as blunt as, say, AnyFucker, but at times it's the best approach!

CryptoFascist · 09/11/2018 09:08

There are these manipulative types out there that think "dumping" you is a good tactic to get what they want - usually an end to an argument, or a weekend out drinking, or not to have to bother buying you a birthday present.
Then they'll come sniveling back all apologetic once they've had their fun and gone back to the real world.
They don't understand how they're playing with your feelings, this is normal behaviour to them. My stbxh tried this after we were married and is now in great shock that I'm not rolling over and taking him back like i did when we were just bf and gf. Don't you take him back either, he doesn't operate like a real human being with feelings.

Original poster

Mai5x · 09/11/2018 09:10

Thanks everyone.

I know, he has the classic traits of a narcissist and I've always thought I could help fix him.

Obviously not! I'll definitely be having a glass of something this weekend! I'm still getting nasty texts after he's told me not to message him (I haven't) - Think it's time to block? It's all so sudden!! Tuesday everything was absolutely fine, as soon as I tell him I'm not in a good place atm the tables turn. Maybe he can't deal with the fact it's not about him this weekend! Ugh!!!!

OP posts:

Weenurse · 09/11/2018 09:18

Block

NottonightJosepheen · 09/11/2018 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CryptoFascist · 09/11/2018 09:21

Oh please block him.
Have you got a good friend you can see this weekend instead? Or spend time with your family?

Singlenotsingle · 09/11/2018 09:21

Yes it's time to block. You just don't need someone that negative in your life who's even capable of doing that. Make the mistake of taking him back and it'll happen again, and again......

ShatnersWig · 09/11/2018 09:26

Blunt time again.

I assume that was an rhetorical question and you didn't really need to ask us if we felt you should block him? You bloody well know the answer to that! Give your head a wobble for not having done it immediately!

PerverseConverse · 09/11/2018 09:36

Block and delete. Happy birthday!

Fashionista101 · 09/11/2018 09:46

Ah my birthday this weekend too!

BIRTHDAY BUDDIES! I'll have a toast for you, good riddance to that waste of space!!!!

Singlenotsingle · 09/11/2018 10:00

It was my birthday on Wednesday and absolutely nothing happened (apart from my U3A class), but it wasn't a problem.

Nanny0gg · 09/11/2018 10:07

Think it's time to block?

Um...yes?

The time to block was the last time, but better late than never.

Original poster

Mai5x · 09/11/2018 11:20

ShatnersWig I think I need more than a wobble!

Singlenotsingle - Happy Birthday to you too!!

Fashionista101 - Happy Birthday!! maybe we could celebrate together haha!

Apparently I've 'pushed' him too this! This is laughable!

OP posts:

Nicelunch25 · 09/11/2018 16:38

He sounds narcissistic. My ex ruined all birthdays, holidays and christmases and unfortunately we have a child together so I'll have to watch him do the same to our son. Be glad you are not tied to him and get him blocked. It gets worse never better with these types of men and they are totally resistant to change so you can't fix him. The man you met in the first place who drew you in was a mirage. The nice version of him doesn't exist. Enjoy your birthday. Treat yourself, ideally to something he wouldn't have got you or let you do or something he'd have spoiled for you.

DogDayMorning · 09/11/2018 18:10

If somebody EVER calls you a c* OP they are lucky if the worst thing that happens to them is they get blocked. There is no room in anyone's life for being treated like that. Stop giving him headspace. He is history.

Have the best birthday ever, give yourself a big amount of respect .

Ohjellybelly · 09/11/2018 18:22

My boyfriend did the very same to thing to me on Monday. My actual birthday. My 40th. Bastard.

I'm actually not as bothered as I should be. I thought I'd be a wreck but I've not shed one tear. I'm sure it'll come but for now I'm feeling ok and looking forwards.
If a fella can do that on a day that's meant to be special, you've not lost anything!

Onemansoapopera · 09/11/2018 18:28

Ah don't sweat it, my ex binned me off whilst my mum was dying in a hospice. Like an idiot I took him back in time for the funeral. He dumped me again four months later, a week before my birthday. He was a dick and I'm happily married to an amazing man who my mum would have loved. Have an amazing birthday and celebrate getting rid of this guy. (And stop messaging him, because I think you still are).

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