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Original poster

He blatantly lied

24 replies

Notrusthere · 08/11/2018 21:34

DD has karate tonight and I take her. We would normally get home around 8.

Tonight it was cancelled so we got home an hour early.

DH wasn't in which was odd because he usually gets home about 5.30.

I got DD to bed and then rang him.

Conversation went something like this:

"Hi are you ok?"
"Yes fine are you?"
"Yes I'm ok. What are you upto?"
"I'm just at home, not been back long....."

Fucking liar!! He wasn't at home, I was there!!

Long story short when confronted he said he had gone out for a drink with work friends and didn't want to tell me (why?!)

I have never ever had an issue with him going out for a drink after work,actually I would encourage it.

He's said he's sorry, shouldn't have lied

I assumed the worst to be honest (affair) but he let me look at his.phone when I asked so I think he was telling the truth...but what the he'll!

WIBU to think the worst and AIBU to still feel that a bit of trust has gone?

Name change btw

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 08/11/2018 21:37

He must have had a very "good" reason for lying. Affair remains no 1 until proved otherwise. Don't expect him to tell you the truth

unequivocallyxo · 08/11/2018 21:40

He will have deleted everything as soon as you called and confronted him, if he is cheating. I'm not saying that he is, but keep your eyes open, OP.

Thebluedog · 08/11/2018 21:44

Hmmmm I’m not sure I believe him either. Especially not if you’ve never had an issue with him going out with work buddies in the past. As for his phone, don’t read too much into that, he may have deleted everything before he got in if he was having an affair anyway, my exh did. Took me two weeks to find incriminating evidence Hmm and that was only one text he’d forgotten to delete

Gemini69 · 08/11/2018 21:50

Strange OP.. seems like an odd reason to lie Flowers

HollowTalk · 08/11/2018 21:51

I'd be wondering whether he'd ever been home on those nights.

TeaByTheSeaside · 08/11/2018 21:51

This is very suspicious indeed ...

Shadow1234 · 08/11/2018 21:51

Do you suspect this is a one--off, or could he have been doing this every week when you are at Karate? I would just keep an eye out for any other suspicious behaviour, but in the meantime, you really just have to hope he is telling you the truth.

Halloweenallyearround · 08/11/2018 21:54

As much as your mad right now ( and bloody rightly so) I'm send these  because losing trust over a drink with work colleagues is bs from him.
Some guys do lie for the sake of it my ex and dp have and do, but he's now caused you panic and upset and I hope it's because of a stupid lie as I would be thinking ow and that's just a waiting game.
He's made me mad for you!

Kittykat93 · 08/11/2018 22:00

Sounds dodgy to me , I'd be keeping a close eye

MadeForThis · 08/11/2018 22:01

He might be incredibly unlucky that the one time he lies about where he is you happen to catch him. Or he might not.

Thebluedog · 09/11/2018 07:59

That’s a really good point @Shadow1234

janisposh · 09/11/2018 08:04

He was in someone's house. You couldn't lie and say you were out for a drink, the background noise is a giveaway. He told you he was home because he knew he could get away with it, because he was in a house with quiet background noise.

Original poster
Notrusthere · 09/11/2018 08:11

He said he was on the bus home when I spoke to him but there was no background noise 😔😔

OP posts:
Unicornandbows · 09/11/2018 08:15

Think there is something more going on op

HelloPeopl3 · 09/11/2018 08:27

I smell a liar.

Wrybread · 09/11/2018 08:27

OP so you know he's lying. He's broken your trust.

It could be for all kinds of reasons, but it's clearly something where he doesn't want to tell you the truth.

Trust your instincts.

Also, if you are pretty sure he wasn't on the bus, then it's likely that he was somewhere within walking distance or that he quickly got a lift back.

It's likely that he'll have wiped his phone of anything incriminating though.

But basically, whatever it is, he's intentionally hiding it from you. He's likely to minimise his lies and make you feel like you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

But whatever it is he's done, it's not a small thing to lie to your dp. And more than once too. He's not worried about how you feel, he's worried about getting caught.

Kennycalmit · 09/11/2018 08:30

He is definitely lying. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.

Oblomov18 · 09/11/2018 08:57

This would piss me right off. Why lie? Speaks volumes about your Relationship even if he's not having an affair.

why would someone, my Dh, anyone need to lie to me? why would I even care if they were going out for drinks?
don't need to lie.

Whipsmart · 09/11/2018 08:58

My thought would be that anyone who would lie as casually as that would have no moral problem with having an affair. The background noise is also suspect.

I'd get a hidden camera and set it up next week and see if he doesn't come home at his usual time again. Then ask him what he did after work. If he lies again, after making a big deal of always being truthful in future, you'll know for sure.

BifsWif · 09/11/2018 09:02

He’s lying. You would have heard had he been in a bar or on a bus.

He will be extra careful now you’ve caught him out, I imagine he’ll be back on time for the next week or two. Just be vigilant, and keep an eye on his phone - especially WhatsApp. You can see who he frequently contacts by going in and choosing to send a new message, and you can find archived conversations by dragging the screen down on the home screen. Yes, I’ve been here myself.

CallMeRachel · 09/11/2018 11:44

Hmmm...I'd have FaceTimed him immediately and if he failed to answer his bags would be packed for him coming home.

Going out with work mates is fine, no need to lie or hide it so it's not that.

Start digging.

He'll have deleted everything before getting home btw.

Bodabing · 09/11/2018 12:12

Another whose been there. Lied about a cinema trip, I would never have said no but of course OW went with him which is why he lied. Also when got home, no evidence and happily gave me his phone. It might have been a stupid lie but the unnecessary nature of it, and the suspicion that he wasn't in a bar/on the bus would make me dig a bit more.

Hoping he's just a prat OP.

BadgersBum · 09/11/2018 12:16

My ex worked shifts, while I worked regular hours but with a gruelling commute. When he was on earlies he was often out when I got home and used to tell me he'd been out for a walk ... he'd actually been out for drinks with a woman from work, telling her how awful and abusive I was.

Pearlsandgems · 10/11/2018 08:24

How are you op? What have you decided to do? Flowers

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