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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husbands mum physically and emotionally abuses him

28 replies

Candy5 · 08/11/2018 17:59

My husbands mum physically, emotionally and verbally abuses him. She controls his finances, where he takes me, what he can give me and what not to give me. She even tells him what to say all the time especially during times of arguments which makes the arguments worse. She seems to get pleasure from this and her sole purpose is to separate us. She has attempted to do similar things with her other sons and their marriage but to no avail. As they stood up to her and where not having her nonsence. However, my husband cannot stand up to her, he cant even look at her in the eyes when she's talking to him and is so afraid. She came to visit us not long ago and she was talking to him like he was 5 years old without any respect, even worse she pushed him against the wall and he said nothing to her. He looked frightened the whole time she was with us. And this happenes all the time she visits or we visit her. Additionally she mocks him with everybody around and makes fun of him because of his weight.
I feel like she is a MIL from hell. She is an absolute nightmare and she has turned my husband against me and continuously tells him to divorce me. I love him so much and he loves me too but i dont know if we will last. I asked a friend for advice and she said to move as far away as possible from her and not tell her where we've moved to, but i dont want to take him away from his family. Please advice me in how to handle this situation.

OP posts:
Candy5 · 09/11/2018 10:16

@Nanny0gg The parents do have alot to say especially when their children are young as with any culture but when they're older they can only give their opinions and advice, but my husband just seems to have let her cross the boundaries and she is generally a controlling person who wants things her way. However, i have noticed that with her other adult children she is respectable towards them and she can't even talk back to her sons.

OP posts:
ListenLinda · 09/11/2018 10:36

OP, you need to get him to listen to you. This isn't normal for an adult in an adult relationship. If he cannot or will not stand up to his mother, I fear for your marriage.

Haffiana · 09/11/2018 11:24

The problem is that everyone is advocating that OP's husband switch from being told to do by his mother, to being told what to do by his wife.

OP, have you asked you husband what he wants to do? What I am hearing is who he most scared of. That is not the same thing at all. Only he can sort this, not you. It can only come from him or the problem will never, ever go away.

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