Relationship

[Unicorn29]

Hi
My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have a 9 year old daughter.
However I have recently started to feel that my husband is interested in another woman. He hardly ever shows me any attention. No affection. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just says it's all in your head get over it. Or get over it or you know where the door is. I'm am so hurt by this as I truly love him so much but don't feel anything from him anymore.

Sorry to hear this OP. Is this a new development in his behaviour. When he's saying the things about knowing where the door is, is he saying this in a jokey way, or serious? Doesn't sound like fun regardless.

What is the evidence besides him not being emotionally involved with you?

Has he always been dismissive like this over other issues or is this a new attitude?

Is there a particular woman you think he is involved in or just another woman in general?

The fact that he says it is all in your head rings alarm bells for me. It's a classic gaslighting tactic if they've had their head turned and don't want to be found out. Telling you to get over it and knowing where the door is, is just horrible. That's not a way to reassure your partner if nothing is going on I'm afraid. I've been there and my advice would be to ask him to go to relationship counselling with you as you feel you've lost the connection....if he refuses, then I'd be making plans to end things.

I'd would be discussing separation with him.
Do you work full-time?
What is the housing situation?
He needs to understand that his treatment of you is not OK.
And it's not the type of relationship you want to model to your DD.
Ask him how he would feel if his DD was in a relationship like this!

Thanks everyone. I've asked him to go to counselling he won't go. He has never been one to discuss his feelings though. I just don't no whether I'm just being paranoid but I pick up on the littlest things that he used to do but doesn't anymore. Eg he used to pull me towards him to cuddle on the sofa. It's all just so hard. I don't work at the moment. And he has told me if I leave I'm not taking dd with me.

Right. I'm feeling angry for you OP. How dare he threaten you like that. Who does he think he is. If he won't go to counselling than he doesn't respect you. In fact it doesn't sound like there is much there.
When behaviours change it can indicate OW on the scene or another interest. I would suspect the same if he's like this with you. Is he hiding his phone...taking care of self more...out often? You might need to do a bit of digging. WhatsApp last seen etc...

Have you supportive friends you can talk to? I think you need that right just OP. 💐

HE doesn't get to call all the shots, OP! he's saying that about your DC to keep you in line.

Hi butterfly44.
Is isn't hiding phone or taking care of himself any differently.
Every so often he has to have a lift to particular jobs with his boses wife.
Last time he had to do this I tried to call him and he would not answer phone which is unusual. I got extremely paranoid and questioned him about it. He said that nothing is going on and he doesn't have feelings for her.
We was OK for a few weeks after but I just cannot seem to shake it off. But it doesn't help that he has change so much.

Ryderwhiteswan I understand that he is trying to do that but I know he will physically stop me taking her and I will need to get police involved but I do not want all this trouble for my dd plus I really do love him and want to make it work