Very new relationship making me paranoid

[Chickenedout]

Been seeing a lovely man from OLD since mid Sept . He is very serious, introduced me to friends, he has met my family , kids love him, his son is lovely etc.

However I feel its all too good to be true and my house is chaos im amazed he actually wants to take us all on.

He was here last night and was going to come back today after work but I txt asking if he wanted dinner and he replied saying really sorry im on way home was so tired.
Im so paranoid its cause my house is so chaotic, I also have a friend staying too so poor guy in a house with 5 girls 😬

All seems a bit much to me. Why not concentrate on sorting out your chaotic home first? I also wouldn't have done kids introductions after, what, a month?

It really shouldn't be at a stage of him 'taking you all on' after weeks of dating

Woahhhh! Slow down. He's met your kids already, and you met him online! You don't know anything about him and he's probably feeling put off by your chaos.

Well no I mean not living together etc but he likes taking us out on weekends etc ,

It's only been 8 weeks. Way too early to meet the kids (and not good for them either this early on...), family etc. Slow down and enjoy it.

He probably is , but he has been the one suggesting it all, I have been keeping my guard up and will continue to do so , but im getting.confused

He probably is tired and wants a rest.
Take it slow and arrange meet ups away from the home (kids) if you can so you have the freedom to get to know each without interruptions.

Yes I agree, im supposed to be staying at his friday so we should be alone, that is if ive not scared him off already

You need some boundaries and to not just go along with what he suggests.

Your children's well being is your responsibility not his.

He might like the idea of 'family' days out with you and your children but it's not up to him.

I had someone dump me because, 7 months into the relationship, I wouldn't tell my children about him and he said it was because i wasn't serious about him.

I was. But my children are my priority - not a man who wants to play happy families.

No regrets.

If your friend is staying, he probably thought it was all a bit much, and wanted some space. But can i just ask, why dont you just enjoy dating him? Enjoy being his GF, rather than mum-with-dad-figure.

What's the massive rush with all of this?

Too much too soon. Back off and don’t have your children in this mix for a good while.

Back waaay off, OP. Your children are your responsibility, and it’s far too soon for him to have even met them, far less spend significant time around them.

You’re not keeping your guard that far up if he’s taking your kids on days out after 8 weeks, are you?

God ive been an idiot havent i

A bit OP, yes. Can you dial things back, tell him you want to date but not jump feet first into full on family life and get to know each other properly for a while to see if you like each other and are compatible away from the chaos? Do you get much time away from your children? Enjoy having a boyfriend. Your children don’t need a new dad you barely know. Plenty of time for all that!

Best way to approach new partners:

Take them at their word, and assume that they mean exactly what they say, no more and no less, until/unless they appear to be routinely inconsistent between what they do and what they say.

I.e. if this guy says "I'm knackered after work" then just believe that he is, in fact, knackered after work. Until/unless he starts routinely begging off previous arrangements for the same (or a different) reason.

Don't overthink it.

Ok I shall try this , many thanks x