Sorry, just need to rant.

[katherinez]

Had to post on here other wise I would be shouting at dh and that would serve no purpose at the mo other than to piss him off and give him the perfect excuse to leave!

I am so angry with him. Yes i have made mistakes but so has he. Why does he think that gives him the right to want to walk out on his family. And why does he think we can all play happy ever after as single yet 'together' parents. I am so pissed off. I love him so so much. Does our marriage mean that little to him that he thinks he can leave with out so much as a discussion. I think he really thought he could. Sorry. Rant over

Are you ok? Sorry to hear of your troubles

Yeah. I will be. Thought I would be best to take my frustrations out on the key board! I dont want to keep on at him. I know it wont help. He has to come to his own conclusion. (he is still here coz he feels he ought). I just want to keep telling him how much I love him but the more I try to talk to him the more pissed off he gets. He really seems to think he can just walk out on us, yet still support us, and that that makes it all ok. How can he think that. I am hurting so much and he seems to be oblivious to it all. Why cant he see what he is doing.

Kath, the only bit of advice I can give you right now, (however difficult) is to back off completely.

Show (pretend) complete emotional indifference. Don't be unkind, don't be cold. Be pleasant, be relaxed, and continue to do the things you normally would do for him.

Work at that for two days, if you can. Men are strange creatures, but not unusual in that they dislike intense emotion. By that, I'm not suggesting that your emotions are intense, but that the relationship is becoming so.

If you can pull it off for two days, and he's still like he is, then you need to re-think your relationship.

I am really trying. He has been like this for weeks. I am trying so hard to be patient. I want to give our relationship a go. It has been low on the priority list for so long. I just dont think we should give up on our marrige with out even giving it a chance IYSWIM. I am fine in the day time. Can carry on as normal, but then the night comes and I am left to contemplate life without him and it breaks my heart.

Poor Kath.

Do you, in your heart of hearts, think that he is going to leave?

I know that at the moment he wants to. He has told me he doesnt feel anything for me anymore. I just cant give up on our marriage that easily. He said he has felt like this for a long time. But only told me whem I dragged it out of him 2 weeks ago. We havent even tried together to make it work. It just seems so unfair. I just want a chance to show him i can be the wife he wants/ needs. Im not just saying that. He is hurting at the mo. Feels like I have pissed him off. But I just know its nothing worth breaking up over. We have 2 small dc. Both work hard. We have done the hard bit together. Life should be getting better for us. Not worse. I wish I could convince him.

Hi Katherine. I don't know how you're feeling this morning, but I thought I'd check in on you.

Your last post is really sad. If you can convince your dh on the worth of your marriage as eloquently as you put it here, then I can only hope that he'll try to make it work too.

It's tough having children. I really hope you both sort this out.

Pretty desparate to be honest. Exploded at him last night. I know I shouldnt have. I just want to get through to him. I seriously know we can work through this. I had a real go at him which I know i shouldnt have but just couldnt help it. I have been trying so hard to give him his space and wait for the counselling but I just started ranting which always ends in disarster. Managed to get an appointment with relate for tomorrow instead of our original plan which was to wait til monday so we will have to see how that goes. I hasnt said whether he can come with me yet but either way I will go. I cannot carry on like this. I think I will go mad. I feel like my life is on hold and all he says is chill out! Thanks for reading.