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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A message from a single mum

10 replies

NewPoet100 · 07/11/2018 12:59

I thought you might like to have a giggle at a poem I've just written. It's certainly not about all men. I know a lot of lovely men who would never behave this way. Nor is it aimed at anyone in particular. But I do think there are a lot of women out there who can relate to this one!

The Penis Poem

I know it means a lot to you
I agree it’s rather fun
But until you master control of it
Then I’m afraid we’re done

It is very off-putting
When it’s on permanent display
If you wave it in front of me
Then I’ll just wave it away

The simple word “No” means “No”
And not “Please try again”
If that is hard to understand
I have a dictionary to lend

I really don’t want to meet it
When you have a girlfriend, partner or wife
Seems it already has a home
It has no place in my life

Please don’t let it phone me
When your girl has dumped your balls
It’s 1am. I’m asleep
This is NOT the time to call

Look, I know this is hard for you
Please let that pun slip by
I don’t want it too confident
Nor do I want it shy

What you really need to do
Is to show a bit of respect
Talk to me, be interested in me
That is the least that I expect

I’m not saying no,
So please don’t take it that way
I’m just saying get to know me first
And then we might just play

OP posts:
weleasewoderick22 · 07/11/2018 14:52

Very good and so apt. Well done op 

ghostlygal · 07/11/2018 14:55

Great poem 

NewPoet100 · 07/11/2018 18:46

Thanks for the feedback, glad you enjoyed it 😁

OP posts:
IStandWithPosie · 07/11/2018 18:52

Fantastic!! Grin

Azzizam · 07/11/2018 19:05

Very good indeed. And you did it without the words tosser, wanker or ghosting. Well done. :)

Pyracantha1 · 07/11/2018 19:07

Haha! Really enjoyed reading that!

NewPoet100 · 07/11/2018 20:19

Ha ha, Azzizam. Just because I didn't write those words, it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking them!

OP posts:
Ozziewozzie · 07/11/2018 20:22

Genius. Beautifully and respectfully done, yet sadly such a harsh reality for many who can relate to your poem x

Lionsandtiger · 07/11/2018 20:24

It's great! I've had my fair share of floozies and attached liars looking for sex. Made me laugh Grin

Empathfreak · 07/11/2018 22:09

This is brilliant Grin

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