Is this worth waiting for?

[Hardlessontolearn]

Hi guys, this is my first post and I am feeling really rubbish, so please be kind!

Basically, back in June I met a guy from America whilst on holiday. He works in the hostel I stayed at. We clicked immediately and basically hung out all week. He told me a lot about himself, he has been divorced (amicably), has a religious background and came to work at the hostel after his last job for a bit of an adventure.

When I left we exchanged numbers. We have messaged every day since, and he calls me every two days. He also sends me presents from America.

I went out to see him again for a week and we bonded even more tightly.

We scheduled another trip for next year which we did not book. He then messaged me saying he wouldn't be able to commit to the trip because work has become so busy and he doesn't know if he can take it there for much longer, so doesn't know where he will be. He basically said we can postpone the trip until he has figured out what's going on with work.

I was very upset by this, but understood. We still talk every day and call every two days, so communication hasn't dipped and he seems as interested as ever.

My concern is without a set date in mind, is this worth waiting on?
I don't get the sense there is another woman waiting in the wings or that he is a player. I don't distrust him. I just am not sure if this is worth waiting on.

Should I be more direct and say I need something to happen if this is going to continue?

Long distance is hard, it challenges even very well established relationships. You need a lot of commitment on both sides to make it work. His current inability to set a date for a visit would set alarm bells ringing for me too (although it might be totally innocent).

You don’t say how old you are but I’m guessing that if you stayed in a hostel you are on the young side and so might be looking for a long term relationship, maybe even a family one day. If this is correct I don’t think you would be out of line to talk to him seriously about this and say you need a date for him to visit established soon. You don’t want to waste years on what he perhaps considers a holiday romance.

Of course by saying something you might scare him off, but that would confirm he wasn’t in it for the long haul (in both senses of the term) anyway.

So,follow your gut and say something OP. Good luck.

I'm sorry, but I think this was a holiday romance for him, OP. I wouldn't be surprised if he met lots of woman at the hostel and has moved on now.

I honestly don't think it was a holiday romance for him, hence the continued contact. The frequency of contact is quite high, there's just no set date yet. Man it's so hard.