AIBU to wonder why people get annoyed when you can’t attent something?

[hellobeautiful123]

This has been bugging me for some time!

I have a small baby and when she was born someone said ‘you have a great excuse now to get out of things or not go to things!’

Why do people need an excuse? Why can’t people simply say i don’t want to or it’s not my cup of tea etc etc.

A friend recently decided to plan something for her birthday (she never usually does anything) & most people said they couldn’t attend for one thing or another and she clearly got a right cob on. She was rather rude to me when I said i couldn’t due to the baby. Wtf?

Another friend said she didn’t want to go but she couldn’t think of a good enough excuse. Why should she have an excuse?

Anyway this is just a long line of things that have happened over the last few years. I stopped caring if people could attend years ago. Life is too short.

My husband said blokes are completly different and wouldn’t care either way

Attend that should say 😂

If you're having a do and all your friends don't want to come then of course you might have a cob on. Because you'll be thinking no one gives a shit about you. I agree re excuses, it's usually not that bad as long as you phrase your reasoning well...But it's pretty reasonable to want people to want to see you IMO

Often people are more shitty about people's flakiness than their not coming per se. For exactly the reason you give. It's so obvious when something is an excuse and it's cruel to say you will attend something and then closer to the time give an excuse and not bother. Well, at least personally I find that worse than just politely explaining why you don't want to originally although either can be hurtful.

I guess making up an excuse rather than saying 'I don't want to' is less hurtful to the host - you'd love to attend but simply can't due to this unavoidable reason, rather than hating the very idea.

As for your friend - none of her friends cba making an effort to celebrate her birthday, of course she's upset.

There is a reason why social etiquette is important. I feel sorry for your "friend". No-one wanted to celebrate her birthday with her (or him)? I imagine she was really upset. Especially if you said it was because you just didn't want to. Why not go one further and explain exactly why you didn't want to. It sounds like you don't really like her at all.

What's your actual question?
Why people get upset or why they make excuses?

Your poor friend. It’s her birthday, she’s trying to organise something to celebrate, and despite the fact it’s a one off and a mate’s birthday, her ‘friends’ are falling over themselves not to attend.

I don’t know what a ‘cob on’ is, but if it’s upset and hurt, I’m not surprised.

But did people want to see her for her birthday - just not the type of event she was planning?

A few of my friends often plan birthday things that include going clubbing. I always tell them that I'm up for coming along for drinks/dinner, but I'll go home after and give the clubbing a miss. I hate clubs, loud places, crowds, banging music, and refuse to spend £50 on shit drinks while not being able to speak to anyone all night while people get completely ruined and require being carried into a taxi.

Sometimes they get shirty. I don't care.

Op I know what you mean. This happens a lot here. Or all happy to make plans and then cancel and it's just me and my one pal that turn up!

Cheesefield I am just the same... But kind of kid on that I might go to the clubbing. I'm gonna stop that now thanks .