Advice-husband

[Shireslass]

So, we have been married for 3 years- together for 12 this year. We have a child- 18 months.
He made me promises about his lifestyle but I have since found out he has not kept them and it looks like he had no intention of keeping them.
He always has issues with work. It is never his fault. He hates his job. When the baby was born we found it would help us financially for him to stay at home with the baby 3 days while I go to work. I earn more.
He constantly has days off-when he is supposed to be working- for which he doesn't get paid. As a result of this he has no money. I therefore pay for everything. He pays half of the mortgage and that is it. I pay for everything else. I have nothing really and I am starting to resent it and him.
Am I being unfair? Do I need to be more supportive? I need to talk to him but I know he will tell me I am...

Why isn't he looking for a different job if he hates it that much?

Has it always been like this?

So he's a sahp for 3 days and works for 2? I think half the mortgage seems a fair contribution. Does he contribute by doing more of the housework, as well as his 3 day childcare?

OP is the working parent, he's mostly sahp. If the genders were reversed no one would bat an eye.

No, he works 4 days.
Earning basically what he earned before or very close to it.
I do all childcare tasks- up at night, up in morning, washing etc...

No, not always like this in the sense of money, but job and other issues yes.
At the moment I feel like a cash point. He contributes to nothing- not even a token

Wouldn't it be better to put your money together, pay all bills and then split the rest for spending between you? That way he is contributing what he can and isn't ever asking for money.

Is his job at risk having so much unpaid leave? What does he do when he just doesn't go to work, why is he not going to work (presumably childcare is already arranged so it doesnt save the family money)? Most work places are now very hot on sickness- my last two employers trigger disciplinary procedures after 3 occasions in a year. I would be very worried he may lose his job. Does he realise that? Does he care?

Would it be better for him to reduce his hours and do more of a SAHP. Would he or would he still expect you do most of the parenting and house work etc?

I'm asking questions which are redundant if he doesn't give a shit but if he does then there are probably some practical steps you could both take to improve the balance.

We realistically need his wage. What I don't get is how his money has gone so low.
He has had days off and lied to me about it. Finding out things now. He says it is so I don't worry. Which I do. I am sure his employers are fed up of him.