Would you be upset if...

[butcherswife]

Your sister went out for dinner with your aunt and didn’t tell you?

Please tell me if I am being pathetic but I’m just feeling a bit sad about it just cried at work The background to the story is that we lost our mum earlier this year, both DSis and I are late 20’s. We are a relatively close family, a few of us work together, often have family gatherings etc. Since DM passed away, DSis has been to auntys house on numerous occasions for drinks, dinner etc and neither of them have cared to tell me/invite me. We all live close together so it’s not as if it’s convenience.

Aunty has just come into work gloating how her and DSis are going out one night this week for food and drinks and how lovely it will be to catch up as they ‘haven’t seen each other for ages’… we only had a family gathering last Friday I text DSis saying thanks for letting me know / for the invite, I have spent the morning with her and she didn’t say a word, also text DP - he just replied saying don’t know why your bothered

Now I’m writing it down it doesn’t really seem a big deal, but I think it’s the fact that she has a mother figure in my aunt who wants to spend time with her and I don't really have anyone. Think I'm just having a bad day

I don't blame you one bit for feeling left out OP. It must be hard with you still grieving for your mum.

I know you shouldn't, but I would say something along the lines of "I'd love to join you next time" and see what sort of response you get. Or you could playfully say something like "guess my invite was lost in the post" if you feel a jokey route is better. Is there any chance they could have considered inviting you but you could have sent out signals that you wouldn't want to join them for some reason?

And your DP could be a bit more understanding so I'd be having a word with him about that!

Coming from a different angle... I have two aunts and several cousins and a brother. There are only me and another female cousin close to home. Of the two aunts, one is her mum, the other also her aunt.

The aunt we share and I are really close, she is not. We occasionally meet up, aunty and I, and we don't go out of our way to tell anyone. We click, we enjoy each others company and it's nice to have alone time away from the family. my cousin and her mum would probably be offended, and when I read your post and see it from your side I feel mean. But I wouldn't change it. We just can't chat the same at family do's and stuff, and without those catch ups alone we wouldn't have the lovely relationship we do. So I probably won't change what I do. Maybe that's selfish, but I can't help that my cousin and she aren't as close.

I'm not sure this is helpful but perhaps it gives an insight into why they like to meet alone sometimes? Perhaps if you feel you and your aunty could be closer it is worth instigating that contact? Your family sound lovely and very close, I can't imagine she would decline?

I can understand why your upset esp with losing your mum this will be why your feeling more hurt.if i were u i would arrange something with them if it would make u feel better.x