I have spent many an hour recently boring the backside off a good friend. so I think you all will be my sanity check.
So I am no spring chicken, strong independent, widow, mother.
after my partner died I met a man and have had an on off relationship, which reignited this year.
as we are much older now and I thought much wiser it was going swimmingly.
we live miles apart now, we used to live nearer but he moved a couple of years ago.
one evening last month I had a message via social media from one of his children, the last time I heard from her was 8 years ago. I say child she is 25. she messaged to ask if I knew that he had another child 6 years ago.
um...…. no he hadn't mentioned this !
so lets be honest here, in the past few years I have always hoped that once all our children had grown then we would look at being together. I had loved him. I didn't hide that fact even when we were apart.
so after a lot of soul searching I asked him if it was true, and yes during one of our breaks he had a relationship and child,
children are the greatest gift life gives, I adore my children. I couldn't be without them.
so.... what to do ! the good in me says WOW how fantastic.
he says he has a very poor relationship with the mother.
infact he doesn't have a good relationship with any of his Ex's.
I may be able to understand why !
but another child doesn't fit into my plan, I wanted us to grow old together, holidays etc. I wasn't planning on being wicked step mother ! or dealing with the fall out of an ex who has an axe to grind.
I understand why they have one !
the bad in me says RUN !
is it ever going to be forgiven or forgotten that is took his 25 year old daughter to tell me.
I of course asked him why he hadn't told me..... yes the same old line. I was waiting for a good time !
he says he had another child … wait for it... cause we weren't going to.
and if I had been more open about my feelings then this wouldn't of happened. REALLY.
is there a way forward, or do I walk away.