How do I cope with arsehole SIL being our neighbour?

[HelenaWillis]

She is a controlling, demanding, bossy, downright pain in the arse.

DH is close to her though he too finds her annoying but has learned to let it all go over his head so not to rock the boat.

She has never liked me because she sees me as competition. An interloper who has stolen her baby brother from the fold

Now she decided to move to within a mile away from us!

I can only just about cope with her at Xmas and other celebrations. The idea of her being our neighbor fills me with horror and dread.

How do I manage to keep her at arms length?

Do you know why she has chosen this location?

Might be time for a very serious chat with your dh about boundaries.

Sounds terrible but "within a mile" is hardly your neighbour! Stop being dramatic op

She’s decided to move tobe closer to DH. She has two DCs and thinks they need their uncle around more. However I reckon thinks she can get free childcare by living closer to us.

A mile away isn’t next door. My brother lives one street away and we still barely see each other.

Emigrate or tell her that you are thinking of it so we won’t move closer.

Well, this is your perfect time to decide on boundaries and prepare excuses (including "because I don't want to," which it sounds as though you're going to need sooner or later).

Wait and see how it goes. You might have to move.

'How lovely that you're moving nearer to us, dear SIL. Will be very uesful anytime we need a babysitter'

Within a mile isn't being a neighbour - I thought you meant they'd be a few doors away and would be able to see all your comings and goings. But if you're worried about them imposing on you, this is where thinking ahead about how you will enforce good boundaries will help. Is your DH going to be on board with that?

She hasn’t actually found anywhere to live yet. Just that she’s looking at places “within walking distance” to us.

It would be just my luck if next door comes up for rent 🤦🏼‍♀️