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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help with ex

6 replies

user1466108618 · 05/11/2018 13:39

I left my ex in feb off this year and we have 4 children. It was an emotional abusive relationship and its only now i can admit that.
Since feb kids have went too his on a Tues and Sat and out the blue a few weeks back he wants to change his days to recharge his batteries (his words) and i said no the days stay the same, he is now dictating too me telling me these changes are happening and that was the end off the matter again his words.

After a 12 hour shift last night the kids came home to mine and informed me that their dad says oh it is your mum who wants to spend time with yous at weekends and it was me who wants too change days. This is all lies and i have the text messages to prove it but feel hes twisting stuff round to make it look like its me.
I feel i cant win against him and still feel hes trying to control me even though he has moved on with someone else and her kids.
He also keeps saying too me i encourage and respect you to seek legal advice.

Any advice on how too deal with him?

OP posts:
Santaisgettingbusy · 05/11/2018 13:43

See a solicitor, get a schedule in writing. Or he will still try to pull your strings forever more.

m0vinf0rward · 05/11/2018 13:47

If the two of you can't parent collectively, then a court enforced contact timetable is the result. My ex and I have a flexible agreement as both of us occasionally need to change days but by and large it says fixed. Willing to be flexible makes things easier all around however kids do thrive on routine so changes should be the exception not the rule.

MissMalice · 05/11/2018 13:50

How old are the kids? Don’t you want to share weekends?

user1466108618 · 05/11/2018 13:56

Kids are 15 12 11 and 5 . I also work sundays. Its the fact hes wanting to change days to suit himself with no consideration for stability for the kids as he keeps saying

OP posts:
Changedname3456 · 05/11/2018 13:59

Can’t you go to alternating weekends and one or two weekday nights?

Presumably someone childminds them for you at the moment on a Sunday so won’t alternate full weekends save you some of that hassle / money? Plus it’ll allow him to do something more substantial with them on “his” weekends.

user1466108618 · 05/11/2018 14:09

He has them till i finish on a sunday evening.

OP posts:
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