Chrismas between to families

[crispinquent]

My partner is from uk and I am not british. We have traditionally alternated christmas between his family and mine. Fast forward to two kids and after fifteen years of this and its a royal pain. His job is nice enough to cover a flight back to my country of origin. But we will likely have to stay in a hotel on christmas eve and day. The alternative is just go boxing day. What would you do.

I stay home very Christmas since the kids were young, we all prefer to be home on Christmas Day and especially for the kids, they don't want to be travelling around, they want to be home playing with their new toys etc. So, now we tell everyone they're all invited if they want to come but we're staying put

*every Christmas

Yes, why don't you just stay at home this year?

Its a good idea to stay put yes. However we live within two miles of his parents and he will insist we go there on the day. I grew up having xmas at my own house. He is very childish about christmas.

So if I am reading correctly you aren't bothered about going to your home country, so that's that sorted. So it's just whether you go to the in laws or not?

Re his family. Why doesn't he go there with the kids for a couple hours, then you can maybe join him for a bit, then all come back home? Does anyone else go to his parents, do they have other grandchildren?

I don't think it's fair to say DC and he shouldn't go to his parents on the basis that you don't want to go to yours.

You could go over for Boxing Day/Xmas eve instead?

Do they normally cook for you and have kids open gifts there? Are you there all day/half a day....few hours? The closer they are the more convenient in some ways as you can pop over for a small amount of time without it seeming odd.

They used to cook yes. Lately its a power struggle, i am first DIL. No other grandkids

Eating as a family in our own house is part of creating my boundaries around our family. Yes a visit to the grandparents is fine but his mother cannot call the shots on where my kids open presents and eat their meal.

he will insist we go there on the day

So insist back that you want to stay home

I will. Two stubborn families means ive been pulled like silly putty btw them and im fed the fuck up. I married the eldest so mil has 'played' with me for some time. No other grandkids bc she is so possessive ill be lucky if my kids ever have first cousins