Help my husband

[Cemma28]

Hi all

I have been with my husband for 6 years. He is 4 years younger than me.

He has always been a stroppy git and had temper issues: please note he has NEVER been violent or aggressive towards me or our three children.

Recently I've noticed his anger has got worse. For example, I just put The X Factor on to skip through and he stormed out of the room and slammed the door because he hates it.

He comes home every day complaining and being negative about work. I am a trainee teacher and he never asks me about my day. I am mostly a very positive person and his miserable behaviour is really getting me down.

He gets in a foul mood if I don't let him spend money on pointless things like 'suped' up wheels for the car. He also goes on and on about needing a car: which he doesn't. He has a work van and we share a family car. He literally has no need for his own car and we could not afford one anyway as I am a full time student.

I love my husband dearly. But I cannot deal with his stroppy behaviour and aggression anymore.

I believe in my marriage and I want to be with him. I have tried talking to him many times but it never gets anywhere.

Many Thanks

I can't help but I am experiencing similar. Will he talk to you?

I think you have to have a proper talk with him. He has to either tell you what he is so angry about and why he's taking out in you and the DC's or you have to say that you're getting to the point where you no longer want to be with him. You can't spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells around him, not watching a programme because he might get angry about it. Perhaps say that you need him to go to marriage counselling to talk about what's causing this behaviour.

Could it be a midlife crisis? Or depression?

Look. You say yourself that he's always been like this.

He's not going to change. You either accept him as he is, and accept the devastating impact that he's having on your children. Or you end the relationship. Any other pathway will be constant agony.

He is who he is. Do you want to be with someone like this? I was - I chose to move on. I'm so happy I did.

Why do you want to be with him when he demonstrates zero interest in your day? He’s violent, aggressive, what are his good qualities? Does he have any?

From what you've written he's the same arsehole he was before you chose to marry him. Why are you expecting different behaviour now? He will never, ever change. It's up to you how you want to live the rest of your life.

Why do you need to point out he is younger than you? You seem to be mothering him, you get final say on how money is spent? You sound incredibly annoying too. Perhaps both of you need to look at your behaviours, maybe he is getting frustrated by you deciding everything.