Has anyone ever 'Asked for Angela' on a date?

[brainstormer123]

Just as the title says, always wondered what the bar staff actually do? Come up to you and your disasterous date and say an excuse? Saw a sticker on the mirror in the toilet of a pub last night and made me think!

What is it?

I think it's a great idea, until you're in a pub that doesn't do it and the staff look at you blankly. I think the staff are simply meant to get you out of the premises without the date seeing? Don't think they should be approaching the table.

It's a thing where if women are with a man and feel unsafe, they can go to the bar and "ask for Angela", and bar staff will discreetly call a taxi and get you safely out.

Never tried it but it seems like a good idea to me.

I've heard of this, never used it, but am curious to know the answer to your question.

I am also curious to know if this actually works.

It's like that 'draw a black spot on your palm if you're being domestically abused' idea isn't it? Sort of a good idea in theory but probably never going to be actually helpful in real life.
I'm not sure what bar staff could do that I couldn't do myself. Call a cab - fine. If he would prevent me from getting into a cab in some way I would call the police.

I recently asked a member of barstaff if they knew about it. They didn't. I was explaining to them what it was, the manager overheard and came to tell me that he was aware of it but hadn't made any of his team aware of it.

Helpful then.

I saw someone do it once, she was ushered behind the bar quickly. I couldn't work out who she was getting away from as the pub was full of dicks.
It is a great idea.

Is there a similar scheme for men? Maybe ask for Archibald?

I'm not sure personally. I think there if someone is making you feel so uncomfortable that you are thinking of slipping out on a date then it probably is worth calling them out on it. I.e call a taxi and then say "i am leaving now because you're a creepy freak" (or whatever) will probably go a long way towards making it socially less acceptable for people to behave like that. Surely if they think people keep on running out on them the are potentially just going to carry on and act like that to the next poor sod who ends up dating them?

Bats that are aware of it have posters telling people about it in their loos.

It's one of those things that's only helpful if everyone knows about it, but if everyone knows, then it's not very helpful, as the date will know what's going on.

If he's not in earshot, surely you can just tell the staff you need help, rather than the secret squirrel thing that they may or may not understand

I recall many moons ago being offered the back door of the pub and an escort to a taxi. It was completely the staff - I didn’t say anything. They had been watching though and were concerned enough to give me an option if I wanted it.

I think bar staff will see lots of hideous behaviour and not all men cope well with being explicitly called out for their behaviour.

I think it’s a great idea in theory but I hate that it seems necessary

I think it's good in theory but falls down in practise.
Either everyone knows what it is- which means you may as well just say "my date is making me feel uncomfortable and I want to leave"
Or people (men) don't know what it is, in which case the (male) bar staff won't know what to do.

When I was a (young) bar maid I wouldn't have known how to deal with creepy guys for myself let alone for a customer so I think a better strategy would be to give training to staff in spotting signs of abusive/unwanted behaviour and how to respond: everything from assertiveness to altering authorities when necessary; and having robust procedures in place to support women in a vulnerable situations

It could get quite confusing in my local. The landlord’s wife is called Angela.

Xpost @Bestseller!

Yeah it’s a weird one. I always feel the sign in the toilet should say if you need help ask for it and we’ll keep you safe/get you out no questions asked.
DH has a pub. More than once he’s hovered between couples, made it clear cctv is recording and/or offered to call taxis. Either staff care or they don’t. But I think because DH is accurately aware of domestic violence he is heightened to it.
I suppose it’s hard if the victim doesn’t feel comfortable asking for help.

I think the idea is great, and in a perfect scenario, if the bar staff are aware and he's not nearby then great, but then in that same scenario, why not just quietly say I need help? If he is in earshot and knows about it then she may as well say it as it as he'll know what she's doing anyway, and then there's always the worry that he'll know what she means, but the bar staff won't. I thought the same about the dot on the hand - what if he knows about it surely she'd get in more trouble. So great in theory but needs more thought in practice in my opinion