I decided to separate in July from my husband of 14 years together 15 after he asked for a divorce as a way to get me to do what he wanted.
It wasn't the first time and he was expecting I will give in to his wishes like other times when he had used that trick in the past. This time I was tired, emotionally drained and had come to the end of my tether.
Our relationship has been very strange. He told me within two weeks of meeting him that he has a vision when he was in his twenties that he was God and came to save the earth. I laughed it off and jokingly said he must have taken some drugs.
But this has never gone away. We never got a mortgage because of this vision. There were times when I was told he was going to take over the lease on a property in Regents Park where we will live happily ever after. He gave up a good job for his vision and has been unemployed since 2013. He tried using all the money we had to go to Mexico in 2012 because the world was going to end and he was going to save us all.
I managed to talk him out of it but he soon gave up his job afterwards and refused to take anymore so he could concentrate on his meditation practice. He also started drinking more and more.
After the drama of 2012, I set up a business. I knew that I had to make contingency plans for out three kids. He was getting more and more unstable. He took out 50k of loans and set up a business too. He soon gave that up leaving the debt
I was immediately blamed for the debt. A pattern in our relationship has been that I will be blamed for things and I will bend over backwards to make everything right. A lot of the things were not my fault.
My business is very successful and two years ago I employed him as he still hasn't found a job. He worked when he felt like it. When he didn't, I was told it was because of my behaviour or he was angry with me etc. All of his salt was spent on alcohol and fags. I was frequently accused of sleeping with clients.
I booked us onto marriage counselling which just turned into a complete focus on his vision. He could never do anything wrong. All the problems in the marriage were my fault and he was holding it together because of his vision.
He told our people I was a narcissist and loads of other awful things. People didn't believe me when I told them what was happening. He takes our son to school everyday, runs a local meditation workshop and seems a very caring dad to the rest of the world. What happens behind closed doors is something else
When I asked him to leave, our house for calmer. Both I am and the kids stopped counting beer bottles and walking on egg shells. He went to stay with his ex and her family for a while and then with a friend. He still hasn't found a job. We have an arrangement where he comes to ours three times a week to take care of the kids. I don't want him not to see them.
Last night was one of those days. I went out for my friends birthday dinner. Before I left he tried to pick an argument about keys. I managed to get out without a long shouting battle. Whiles I was out I got a call it was him asking if I remembered how he took care of me one night when I was ill and vomiting. Well he just wanted to curl up and there was no one to take care of him. He started howling and crying over the phone. I asked if our son was ok. I was scared he was going to hurt him and rushed out. He has manipulated me to do exactly what he wanted yet again. When I got back my son was scared and curled up on his bed with his dad and both of them were crying.
His landlady has given him a month to move, not sure why. I know his behaviour will get more and more unstable. I don't know what to do. I can't move house, my business is here and the kids are settled in school. I feel stuck