I'm in a relationship with a married man. We used to be a social media friends, and I started gain feeling for him and proposed him b4 he got married. He said he doesn't have feeling for me and blocked me from everything, and I heard that His going to get married soon. After sometime he unblocked me started to talk to me we talked and then he got married. Two months after he got married he messaged me saying he couldn't stop talking Me. So we talked. Once I went to his city and stayed in a hotel he came to see me, we didn't had the intention to have sex but we had it. After that he started to message me everyday and I loved him, on the other hand my family were looking for an alliance for me and I told him he said get married and we will still talk. After a while he's best friend proposed me and I told him about this, he said he's like that with everyone so be fool. After sometime he left the village and still talked to me and his friend also messaged me I was talking to both of them. I neva had feeling for his friend I loved him and I wanted to be in circle so I talked to him, after an he had a baby and my family also asking me to marry once I went to his village it was his friend bday I don't know anyone in his village so his friend booked a hotel for me and he came to the room and tried to kiss me, I bite his lips and he got pissed and left the room. We started to sexting. Second time I met his friend there were nothing happened. I told my boyfriend that I met and all, but i didnt had the guts to say that we kissed. I hide it from him. But my intention was to be in my bf circle that's y I talked to him. After I came bk to my place I stopped talking to his friend. But me and my bf were chat everyday and talk while he go to work and after. Once my bf had a problem and he got separated from his wife. Thorough that time I didn't had an intention to separate them but I still talked to him, he was also trying to unite with his wife,. I asked him if he can marry me if his wife don't come back? He said yes and started to talk like b4. He was so depressed and I don't let him by himself talk to him everyday coz we both were in different city. Talked to him every single time except sleeping time. Once I went to see him and we lived a happy life there for a week. He was so happy and I was so happy and I asked him to marry me. After sometime we decide to get married and his best friend told him about the sexting and we both slept naked in the hotel and all And asked him to marry someone else. After that I told him whatever happened and my bf said let's talk if we stay without talking then there will be a big gap between us so we will talk and work this out. Everytime I talk to him He says I know married and still talked to u, but I was true to you and I loved you so much why did u do such a thing for me? U won't understand my pain. Then we one day we came to a conclusion I asked him for a second chance and he said Oki, make me to believe you that y only love me. Be true to me and we will stop talk about the past. He talked to me fine. When I wake up same a message saying I tried really hard not to hurt u and forget everything be normal how we used to be but I still don't know if u r cheating me or not. Let's take a break and see what's good for and me. I know he couldn't come out from the shock and the pain I gave him is big. I messaged him saying please don't leave me I need you and he said love, don't make me to ignore your message. I really love you but u didn't. I won't call that as love it's more than that. But I need time to realize , just leave me alone.
I don't know what to do know. I love him so much and I wanted to be with him. Even though he got married I loved him and I wanted to be in his circle that's why I talk to his friend. Now I realize how stupid I was. I wanted to be with him.