What is love?

[Sarah2302]

How do your other half’s show you love? I’m only asking as me and my husband are on the verge of divorce as he does absolutely nothing but go to work. All the housework, garden, childcare, finances, maintenance etc is my job and I work part time. Is what he does enough to show me he loves me. He says he loves me and his family but I’ve asked so many times for help, gone on strike threatened to leave and he still does nothing, maybe for a day then back to normal. I don’t feel loved but he tells me that he works hard and that’s enough to show me. I have lost respect for him and myself and I just don’t fancy him as I feel like the paid help. I’ve got no more chances to give him, would you break up your family over this. I’m really struggling with my guilt!

Hey it does seem that your relationship is stuck in a rut ,do u want to work it out or do u want it to end? Alot of men dont do much my ex did nothing ,but my husband does so much even tho i dont work and he does,we work as a team.x

Love is built on a foundation of trust. You don't trust your husband because you know your best interests are not a concern to him. He only cares about himself and uses his job/earning money as a bullshit excuse for not supporting you. Leave him and get on with your life.

You're not alone!Mine is the same.He take no interest in our home. If i ask enough times he will half-do what I've asked, but always badly. Then I end up pleading with him to finish the task He works away for about 6/7 months of the year and the rest of the time is home, in his office ,'working' ( Facebook in other words). I get told if he didn't love me he wouldn't work so hard, if he didn't work so hard we can't have nice things etc. We rent. He drinks heavily every night. We havent had a sex life for the last 2 years.We've only been married for 3. Its like living with a repressed flatmate. I have my own small business but it is new, and not enough to survive on.I too feel like an under appreciated housekeeper! I realise my post isn't particularly helpful; my situation is somewhat different as my DD is now 22 and leaving home. But, really, is that all there is? I think we both know the answer. Don't feel guilty; you have bent yourself into so many different shapes trying to accommodate him, and nothing has worked. What's going to change, if we don't change the script? Sending you love.

@Aqua spot on. I divorced after a 13 year marriage for similar reasons. He doesn’t show you love, you don’t feel loved. It’s soul destroying living that way. I feel so much better single and learning for the first time in years to look after myself.