feeling Battered and bruised

[Peachsnowpop]

Went out with H and friends tonight. He walked me home as I was tired, he went back to friends house which was fine.
He came home v drunk, I was asleep drunkish. He rang the doorbell to get let in but it's broke so it never chimed, he phoned me but I was asleep. He had said he had a key. I wake up to him kicking the door in and calling me a c**t when I open the door. I've slapped him, he's pinned me down by my hair, thrown me across the room. Smashed my iPad in the process. I'm bruised, half my nail is ripped off and clumps of my hair r on the floor.
Just needed to get it all out
Feeling v sorry for myself

I pity op. None of this arguing is going to help anyone.

It all sounds very toxic. Do you want to be in a toxic relationship like this. It’s no good for anyone

Beyond the pale is very racist arsehole

User ??? Is this of help?

How is it racist? It means beyond the pale, pale being a wooden stake as in Dracula's impale. So outside a wooden boundary now morphed into unacceptable behaviour outside realm of decency.

You are both on the wrong blooming thread!

This isn't healthy for either of you. Is it a new relationship?

Beyond the Pale is racist?

Oh my, you need to do a little research before you say silly things

www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/beyond-the-pale.html

This beyond the pale is on virtually every threadnow! Can we stick to the op

Are you OK, OP? Ignore the derailing horrors, it's happening more and more and it's hugely vexing. Yes, you shouldn't have slapped your husband, but it does sound like his violence was far worse than yours. There are degrees. Agree with PP that you need some space and to consider your future in light of this. Good luck.

Has this ever happened before? Drink and aggressive behaviour done by one or both of you?

At the moment the relationship sounds toxic and unsafe.

Can't say anymore as I don't know the dynamic of your relationship. Different advice depending if this is a one off,a regular occurrence or there are other red flags.

Sorry missed all the pale threads. How weird. This thread is the first time I've noticed it. No advice for op.

Your relationship sounds pretty toxic all round (been there...).

Doors being kicked in - bad
Name calling - bad
Slapping - bad
Throwing - bad
Hair pulling - bad

Take it from someone who tookyears to recover from an equally bad relationship: leave.

Neither of you suit each other or are covered in glory.

What are the dynamics of your relationship normally like?

Your husband started it by smashing in the door (physical violence) and verbally abusing you when he was drunk. People tend to do two things when they are abused - submit or fight back in some way. You should not have slapped him; however, there is no guarantee he would not have been violent to you anyway. I do not think this is a relationship to stay in.

How are you?