Where has all the hatred came from

[Cr20]

Hey!

Me and my ex and LO's father let's call him M split up 2 months ago due to him "not being in love with me anymore"

We just bickered a lot it was nothing abusive and when we were good we were really good but when we were bad we were really bad. There was no in between.

Anyways now that we aren't together I'm living with my mum again but I keep on getting negative texts off him and when he picks LO up gives me grief about going out baring in mind I'm only 20 and yea I've got a child but our LO lives with me and M sees him every 7/8 days.

He's all of a sudden just trying to shut me out of his life and giving me all this hatred over simple things such as I followed a girl of social media and she worked with M but I never knew as he's blocked me on everything. Don't know how she knew who he was but she told him I followed her and he started giving me grief saying to stop interfering with his life and let him move on with his life. I wish it was as simple as that for girls to just walk away from a family and move on! I've got a constant reminder with LO living with me of why we had him and that I once had a family. I do not understand how someone can just totally move on with his life forgetting that!

Everytime I start to find me own feet again , he'll come creeping in and appearing with negativity trying to cause arguments I don't need in me or my sons life.

I don't want to put the "your not seeing our LO" on the card but I know myself I can do this on my own and I don't need M around! So if he's going to continue on being nasty toward me then I will go there I think! I don't want to but I don't understand were all this hatred has appeared from towards me.

I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore!

Hi, just to let you know that you've put a full (real?) name in your post. Also your situation sounds awful but I think threatening M with no contact will backfire.

OP you've mentioned your child by name so I've reported. *[now edited by MNHQ]

You aren't in a relationship any more and any communication from either side should be about your DC and contact only. Keep it business like and not personal. Limit it to emails to avoid annoying and unexpected texts. In time you will get over this but it will take longer because you can't get him out of your life completely. He will always be a part of your life as long as he has contact with you DC.

Just to clarify, you need to maintain contact between him and DC. You don't legally have a right to restrict it unless he poses a proven risk to your child.

Why have you reposted this again, OP? You posted this yesterday and two of us said "move on, it's over". OK, no one else replied, but you've just reposted the same thing, complete with the same name included in the text.

Your child is not a weapon. They're a living, breathing human being, with feelings, needs, and a right to a relationship with both of their parents. Can't believe how many people actually need this pointing out to them! It's not about you - it's about your child. If you use access to your child as a means of punishing your ex, then you stand a very real chance of losing custody. It's child abuse.

As for your ex's behaviour, you both need to get to a place where communication is only about the child. Set boundaries. Do not engage with him on anything that isn't related to your role as parents. If you need handover to happen in a public place, because his behaviour is threatening or similar, make that happen. I'd strongly advise that you both consider a co-parenting course, or even some sort of family mediation or therapy to help you agree how you will work together in the best interests of your child. You are both going to need to grow up and put your child's interests and needs ahead of your own.

@SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad
I totally agree with you that me and him need to grow up and start acting like patently , I get angry and I shouldn't! I always says every child should get to see their dad unless there is serious reasons. It was wrong for me to say but he's 24 and should start acting like it. I've now put my mum in charge for the child's sake to text me ex instead of me doing it now as it's not fair and just constantly causing bother.
I want to give our child the best life he possibly can and with the way things are going it's not fair on his. He's 8 months old and learning and picking up. It's not fit for him to hear or listen to it.