Tips for being single?

[Didyeeaye]

I've been in relationships ever since I was 16. I've just broke up with my partner after 3 years and have no idea what to do with myself now. I have 2 close friends from school that I see every so often but don't do much apart from work and volunteering with a mental health charity once a week. We spoke about getting married and having children. My DP and I's lives were so intertwined. I feel so lost. I have no idea what to do now.

What do you want to do?

Craft hobbies you can do at home?

Social hobbies you can do out of the house?

Swing dance lessons (many classes have all ages from students to octogenarians) - really friendly and sociable; you can do Jive, Lindy Hop, Balboa, Collegiate Shag... festivals, social dances...

Play an instrument? Join a band. Don'tplay an instrument? Buy a ukulele for £25 and join a group.

Join a community choir.

Start doing British Military Fitness.

Learn a language.

Join a hiking club.

Find a MeetUp group.

Go wild camping on your own.

There are so many possibilities...

I am sort of opposite in that I had always been single till I met now-ex.

Having come long and then duly broken my heart fucking shithead I am now trying to pick up the pieces of my life, which is otherwise a replica of yours!

Interestingly, I think your lack of being single might help you, as you don't have the experience of being alone/comfortable in your own company to fall back on like I do. So you will feel more compelled to seek out things to do, places to go, people to meet...

(I have taken up a fitness hobby, but even so that is largely solitary even in classes, and I spend a good 95% of my time outside work alone because I am used to it from before. Don't be me, it's rubbish!)

Stay busy.

Surround yourself with the right people

Put yourself first for a while

Make a list of things you have always wanted to do and do them.,

im the opposite, always been single never really had a relationship. just be single for abit no need to jump from relationship to relationship.

Just enjoy being you , you can do whatever you want to

Just because OP is now single it doesn't mean she suddenly has untold riches and time to go swanning off on lengthy holidays, or no other responsibilities in life.

If anything she may now be shouldering the full cost of life which was largely shared beforehand (even more so if they lived together).

All this "oh you're single, why not travel the world and take up a thousand new £££ hobbies" - er because I have a job and financial commitments and family and pets to deal with first, like most people?

And gleefully doing things solo when you are in a couple is very different to doing every single day alone.

(All that said, and even wrt to my prev posts, I think some time alone would help OP as well)

Get busy living your life OP!

I agree with Shots btw, it’s actually downright insensitive (if not offensive) to suggest that being single suddenly means you have the means or desire to globe trot, if anything it’s usually far more financially difficult being single as you are paying for everything alone that you would previously have shared with a partner. Single people have responsibilities too! Where do people get this idea from that being single means being responsibility free?).

When I’ve become single I’ve got busy getting out there and meeting new people in as many ways as possible. Reconnecting with old existing friends, meeting new ones. Join a meet up group, join a book club, look on Facebook events for fun things happening and go alone or invite a friend, chat to people. Download tinder and go on drinks dates just to get used to being single and free again (as long as you’re honest with people you meet, I used it to meet guys to explore my new city with when I moved after a break up).

Invest in yourself. Take free online courses. Are you happy at your work? Fill your weeks with fun interesting things to do and you’ll recover so much more quickly.

When I was single for the first time in eleven years (and that was only for a couple of years) I tried to do as many sociable things (meetup groups etc.) as I could.

But when I wasn't busy I'd put music on my phone and just walk, for an hour or two, in the evenings. Amazingly relaxing and felt more fulfilling than just sitting in on my own.

Admittedly I was living a 20 minutes walk from the beach and this may be less attractive as an option if you live in inner city or a less safe area, I guess.