What is he getting out of this?

[Feelafool88]

Have been on off with a guy for around 7 months now once we start getting somewhere he freaks out and backs off.

After 7 weeks of being ‘off’ last week he got in contact told me that he misses me wants me and him to be exclusive (note no mention of bf/gf) can’t stop thinking about me blah blah. So we have seen each other four times since last week all lovely constant texting in between. Yesterday he sent me something that he had bought me for his house then last night text me and told me I was the one...

When I asked him to elaborate this morning he said ‘it was too early in the morning to have this serious convo’ I wb and said ok well this time let’s no say things unless we really mean them and he wrote back ‘deal’ wtaf

He’s still playing me
Isn’t he?

I would say it’s not been a long relationship and you are at the stage where you can begin to distinguish between infatuation and start of true and enduring love. When the time is right you will be able to talk about what that means for you both. He is expressing a feeling and you are pushing him for commitment, over text (?).

He sent you a compliment last night. For me sending a message like that is an outburst of love. I would want a thank you and some reciprocation. Even a jokey reply. I don’t think I would want an interrogation into what it means. That’s a face to face conversation when the time is right for both of you.

To be honest I think you have been seeing each other for less than a year. You are dating and it is exclusive. Enjoy it. It’s one of the best phases and you not one you can get back to once you have been together for years.

If you are desperate for commitment and a family and he isn’t, then maybe this isn’t the relationship for you. I would be turned off by somebody pushing me to define every comment and action at this stage in a relationship. Even if they were the one.

I
Wasn’t looking a serious convo over text this morning it felt though like he was trying to ‘put me in my place’

7 months and you've still not had the girl/boy friend conversation?

I don't think 7 months is too soon to have a serious conversation about where you both see the relationship going

Yes he is still playing you.
He throw you crumbs and you lap them up.... WHY???
I just don't get it.
He sounds like a total knobhead!
Why are you giving this guy the time of day?
You can do better - far better!

I've been with mine about the same time as you, we've had the discussion and the where do we see this going. We never really had a bf/gf convo he just started using it after about 3 months. We understand where we are at and where we want to go. I think he's being a bit funny about not wanting to have the talk. I agree about the breadcrumbs. What's he like if you back off does he notice straight away?

It’s the on off factor. How many times in 7 months have been off?

After 7 weeks ‘off’ I wouldn’t be accepting him back. You’re not something he can just pick up and put down, or are you?

Please note your thread title is asking entirely the wrong question

Please note your thread title is asking entirely the wrong question

Indeed, What is the OP getting out of this more like

Omg you didn't meet him on POF did you? I've just recently got rid of a waste of space that was playing this game.
I soon realised when he did his disappearing act (oh I'm scared of getting hurt, you're the one, blah blah) he was actually sizing up someone else. When they didn't match up to what he wanted (probably wouldn't play by his rules) he would run. He would then message me again after 7-8 weeks saying he missed me. My last reply to his "miss you x" message was " well I don't miss your bullshit drama" 😂
Don't be taken for a ride OP xx