Father disowned sister..stuck in the middle

[Stuckinthemiddlehelp]

Dsis has son aged 3. Used to go to df and his wifes one day a week so she could work.
Df and wife have 3 german shepherds, untrained unruly and they do their business in the house. Dsis unhappy with sending son there and told them she was putting him in nursery instead.
Df's wife upset, she offered to have him at Dsis house. Did this for a couple of weeks. My nephew was smelling strongly of dog so Dsis followed df's wife one day. Turns out she was taking him there.
All hell broke loose. Ended up Df told Dsis she was ungrateful and never to speak to him again. Theyve not spoken for 9months.
I clearly believe my father to be in the wrong however have told them both im taking no sides. Df has a history of cutting family out of his life over any arguement.
What i want to ask is, how would you deal with this? I also dont want my ds anywhere near their dogs or house either, how can i tell them this without them disowning me too?

Why do you think that is? Is it the new relationship, or might he be ill?

have told them both im taking no sides.

of course i am on my sisters side

Which is it? Not having a go.

I get it with horrific family, I really do. But you're saying you're taking no sides in order to save your skin - I don't blame you but ime shit like this will always be ready to kick off at any moment. You're trying to hold something together that just won't be held.

Even though it would mean a major rift I still think you should step up and publicly support your sister. You don't have to make it high drama, you can quietly and reasonably say you support her because her child was put at risk. They will no doubt cast you out into outer darkness but perhaps that's for the best.

@springydaff im on sisters side .... have said that initially as love them both and dont want to lose either. Didnt expect them to still not be talking after this long

I fully did re him not talking to your sister still and I would not blithely assume either he misses his nephew. Your mistake here re your dad is to apply the "normal" rules of familial interactions to someone who has never played by those but only his rules. You wrote initially that he has a history of cutting family out of his life over any argument; this is yet more of that same behaviour from him.

You also need to have clear and consistent boundaries here with regards to your dad and his wife (is this woman actually his second wife?) and your sister.

I would not bring anyone, let alone a small child, into your dad's house frankly. Your dad and his wife have both behaved appallingly here and they have not taken any real responsibility for their actions. Its always someone else's fault; never theirs.

You might love them both but you can't be wilfully blind to some of the things that are going on.

What your dad and his wife did is serious. It wasn't a small thing. The dog shit and a child, the lying. The putting the child at risk. Not small things.

Your dad and his wife need to be told in no uncertain terms they are putting your nephew and any other child under their roof at risk with their unruly dogs. See link below from this week's news as and example of an older child injured by a German shepherd or similar dog. (WARNING: Nasty, gruesome photo. Don't click if squeamish.)

Girl, 12, has her lip RIPPED OFF by a 'German Shepherd-type dog'
dailym.ai/2CQ2pbH

That's revolting. Do they pick up the poo or leave it on the floor. I would be worried about my dc falling into a pile of it. Getting it on their clothes and hands.