How does a guy sensitively support his partner through her pregnancy hormone rollercoaster?

[NewLevelsOfTiredness]

This is probably going to come out a bit garbled because I am so very tired right now, so apologies if so. Also please pile on if we're being unreasonable with our approach to the 4yr old mentioned below, regarding her sleeping arrangements.

Anyway, live with my girlfriend and her two little girls, 4 & 8 - they were just 2 & 6 when I moved in. All good - great relationship with girls, situation with their father amicable and me and my girlfriend's relationship is great.

And early April she'll be giving birth to our daughter. Girls are very excited (they were asking for a new sibling before my gf got pregnant anyway.)

The pregnancy is going well health wise. Physical health wise anyway. But she's taken an absolute battering from her hormones. Initially she was very irritable, but that's died down now. Now it's just a rollercoaster - she cries with happiness frequently, which is lovely. The next day she can be sad, really sad. I'm struggling with how to best help her on these days, or even if there's anything I can do.

Last night felt like an extreme one. 4yr old goes to sleep easily and calmly in her own bed bed every night. Wakes between 10:30 & 00:30 crying to come into ours. We are trying to be strong and not allow this - she needs her sleep to much to be being disturbed by little sister throughout the night when she arrives. It's a struggle, she cries a lot and obviously it's a little heart-braking.

Last night it was about 00:30 and my girlfriend got her settled after about 15mins - stayed in the room with her until she was asleep. Then got back into bed.

I cuddled up, as we do - we fall asleep that way. My girlfriend then said that she felt like a hypocrite for denying her daughter hugs while she slept, listening to her cry herself to sleep and then coming to bed and getting hugs herself.

Then she cried that she worried she'd broken the older girl by letting herself cry herself to sleep when she was younger.

And then that "it's not like I have much of a bond with her anyway" - this is because the older girl is wonderful sociable and since she was a baby has been happy to be looked after by whoever.

It's rubbish, they have an amazing bond and I always thought it was testament to her effective mothering that the girl is so confident and outgoing.

I tried logical arguments, I tried reassurance and just comforting. There doesn't seem to be a right thing. Eventually I made a throwaway comment which apparently made everything ok again.

So quite honestly - is there anything 'right' I can do? To be honest everything is so great the other 95% of the time but I'm such an absolute zombie today (it took me a long while to get back to sleep.) that it probably feels a big thing right now.

90% of her 'sad moments' are due to her worrying she's not a good enough mum. She's an amazing, dedicated mum. I can see how her mothering abilities are something that were play on her mind with a new one on the way, I guess.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for really. Maybe I just needed to vent. I emmigrated to her country a while back (before we met) and don't have the sort I friends here I can talk to about it. It's just weathering the storm and not trying to 'logic' a solution to it all right?

Feel better soon!

I really don't have much to say except you are doing a great job! You sound so kind, caring and patient and your girlfriend, SD's and soon to be daughter are all lucky to have you xx

Well, that was a shitty virus and a hard ten days. My girlfriend was great though - we were actually sort of fighting to get the other one to lie down and take it easy. The biggest relief is that my girlfriend and stepdaughters seem to have escaped without catching the virus.

My girlfriend has been put on 'high risk' for premature birth now. She's 32+6 weeks, and that's the exact point eldest stepdaughter was born at. This time my girlfriend has excessive amniotic fluid and is getting a lot Braxton Hicks contractions. She's been signed off work and is under strict instructions to take it easy so now I need to step up more. I've asked work if I can work from home a lot and they're fine with it (luckily Danish employers are generally very 'family first' minded anyway.)

We have three hospital appointments a week now - a scan, doctor and CTG heart monitoring thing. We had a little scare with the heart but it turns out it's just the electrical impulse from the brain not syncing perfectly with the heart yet, which is normal. The heart itself is perfectly formed and the beat is strong. It was a stressful few days waiting to find out.

We're just hoping the pregnancy lasts a few short weeks so the baby can come home immediately. I'm really ready to meet her now. I know it'll be exhausting to have a newborn but once she's born I feel I can be a more equal part (besides feeding obviously) - watching from the sidelines while my girlfriend lies down and waits to see if the BH contractions stop is wrecking my nerves! Cervical plug is a healthy 29mm but was 34mm ten days ago...

Please don't think a couple of highlighted incidents give an accurate portrayal of my gf. They weren't her best moments but they feel so distant now. The one I originally wrote about seems so out of character when I read it back.

We're nearly there now - thanks for listening/reading and commenting :)

Sending positive thoughts your way. Your baby girl will be in your arms before you know it xx