I've namechanged for this. Earlier this year, my dh left his phone behind when he went to work. Things had been weird between us - he'd been a bit grumpier than usual. I looked at his phone which is something I'd not done before. There were quite a few texts to a woman - full of heart emojis and yet full of nothing much either. The thread was very short. Looked at another friend's thread - much longer and full of complaints about lack of sex and then said nothing physical had happened with this woman, but he thought she'd have sex with him if he asked. I was so shaken.
Basically he'd fallen into texting this woman about 10/15 times a day. He said it was an ego boost and didn't mean anything. The thing that upset me the most, was the way he was talking to his friend - I didn't recognise him as my dh. He sounded cold.
If it wasn't for that thread to his friend saying nothing physical had ever happened, I wouldn't have believed him that it was only texting.
He promised he would tell me if she texted. He texted her and said it had got out of hand...blah blah. Things were great between us. He told me when she texted and showed me - only a couple over several months. A couple of weeks ago I switched on the computer to see he'd left it on his profile. A text from her pinged in. Dh was out and I couldn't resist. There weren't loads of texts. Few in May and then a few in June. What upset me was that he said I hope you're not taking it too personally that I'm not talking to you, she replied that she knew it wasn't his fault. He said he want a hug the next time he saw her and hoped no-one took a photo and put it on Facebook - a photo had upset me on Facebook of the pair of them especially as someone had commented oo-er. She suggested meeting up and dh said Shinypebble mustn't know, that's for sure and she said yes I'm certain of that. Then nothing else until that morning. They didn't meet.
I was furious. He said it didn't mean anything and admitted he'd let me take the flak for stopping the texts. He also admitted he didn't want her to think badly of him as he'd just dropped the texting out of the blue. There's nothing to it really, I just feel totally betrayed by these few texts. I feel like they were laughing at me. Things had been going so well between us and now I feel in a worse place than I was in January. How do I get over it? Essentially he just lied when I asked her is she'd texted. Needless to say he'd deleted the texts from his phone, not knowing they were stored on the computer. He promises he'll tell me when she texts or they have to work together....but he's promised that before?
The other thing is, both times I discovered the texts. He didn't confess.