Bit of a back story....
Me and Ex separated 10 weeks ago, it was a mutual decision. We have 2 children together DS1 and DS2. We both was not happy in the relationship, we have both had to work hard at it and it just wasn't working anymore. We had started to argue in front of the children and we didn't want them growing up in an unhappy household.
He moved out, all going OK until I found out he had a new girlfriend after 2 weeks, he loves her and she is the real deal etc.
At first I didn't deal with the new relationship very well, I had a bit of a breakdown, had time of work, couldn't eat or sleep, iv since gone back to work and I'm doing OK, just waiting on some counselling to help me, but overall i feel more positive and i can now see the situation for what it is.
The stupid part, I recently started a FWB, he is a friend of mine and we both said we didnt want anything serious, and it was just going to be sex and dates etc, that suited me fine, as i have the kids but they stay at their dads once a week. this was a good distraction for me and helped me stopped thinking about my ex, i had a few wobbles and felt it was moving too fast and cancelled on him a few times, but all was generally ok.
Until last weekend, I had agreed we werent seeing each other but then ended up seeing each other every night, we had lots of sex, lots of cuddles and i even stayed over (normally against the rules) we sat in bed sunday morning drinking a cup of tea and it felt like we were in a relationship, he offered to make me breakfast and i panicked and went home.
I feel like we have been moving really fast and the dynamics have started to change for me anyways. he has started to creep into my thoughts and i find myself smiling all the time, and if i see something funny, i want to message him and tell him, i feel like this has been equally matched, we message each other the same amount.
So after the weekend i have been thinking do i want more and why am i feeling like this, i came to the conclusion that i would want something more but in the future, im happy to carry on like we are but i can see myself settling down with him down the line. again i scared myself and i was going to back off and give myself some space, but my friends convinced me to tell him how i feel, so i did and his response, he likes me to but cannot commit at the minute,,,,
Hmmm ok, so we have ended things and gone back to being friends, and now im gutted again sad why have i done this to myself sad im such an idiot....