Hiya!
Not sure if this is the right board or not but I am really wondering if anyone else kinda "gets" this.
Ok, so for the most part of my life I have been single and relatively happily so, lived on my own etc. I have had partners and lived with people aswell. However I have a real intimacy issue in so much I don't like being touched and I feel like I "Need" alot of alone time.
I find this really hard to explain so please bear with me... I am quite happy holding hands and kissing hello / goodbye and I am quite happy in bed and stuff so to speak however I am not very demonstrative anyway, so don't want to sit on the sofa cuddled up and I don't want to kiss and touch all the time. The feeling of not wanting to do it is so strong I feel like I could get up and hide in another room to avoided being touched. I always thought this might change if I found "Mr Right" which honestly I think I have, but I feel the same. I nearly pushed him out the house on Sunday just so I could get some time to myself and not have him sat next to me.
I have a very stressful job and it does admittedly take me ages to come down when I get in from work. I also have other personal issues which take up head space if you will (he does know about these things)
I just feel like I am emotionally cold, and its not that I don't love him I do very much but I don't know how to approach a conversation whereby I basically need to say "listen I love you, however I need alot of alone time and if you could please not touch me because it makes me want to scream" :-(
I feel so sad that I am such a total freak. Does anyone else feel like this?