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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship/ taking advantage???

7 replies

Minnegallore26 · 31/10/2018 08:01

Five years ago my mom died leaving me with my dad . We have always had a rocky relationship mostly because I am not easily manipulated like my mom was. Any ways with in months of my mother dying I found a job and have been there for almost five years now. The agreement between my. Father and I was he would by stuff for the house and I would buy my own things . I buy my things clothes and etc and was even going half on the bills till it cleaned me out I’m the bank. It seems I am buying for both myself and the house breaking the understanding we had. When I mention it to him he says he doesn’t have money. But i have found almost five hundred in his pocket while doing laundry. Lately my dad had mention in soo many words that I should be taking care of him financially. I work for a commonly known store and barely make enough for myself much less some one else . The thing is he is getting money for retirement $2000 a month twice what i make in a two week Pay. So I don’t understand what makes him come up with such a thing and suppose I did what would he be doing with the money he gets monthly. This wasn’t the first time he has tried to pull one over me he told me to pay the rent and I would get it back when I did the taxes which I found out wasn’t true. He wanted me to pay a bill that was well over a thousands dollars for a house he owns ( which he said very clearly the house was his not ours) and says the the money from the house will be my inheritance only so I will help him mediate with the realtor. Though he has also told me he was leaving the house to my Aunt . I am wrong in thinking he is taking advantage of me and what do the next time it comes up in convo? Thank u in advance

OP posts:
notacooldad · 31/10/2018 08:05

I would be moving out if I was in your shoes. Even if it was to a house share with a few others.

Mousey765 · 31/10/2018 08:09

If you live in his house then you should be paying rent and for all your own things And contributing half to other things (household things like toilet roll or cleaning things). And half bills. But he should be fixing things in the house if they break, etc. But I don't see why you are washing his clothes. If he's asking for €/£1000 for household maintenance you would save money living elsewhere to be honest

How old is he? Is there a reason you can't move out? How old are you? If you're 17 and he's elderly it is a bit different....

Bananalanacake · 31/10/2018 09:01

Can you move out. If you've been working for 5 years I hope you can afford a room in a house share.

hellsbellsmelons · 31/10/2018 09:07

It's time for you to get independent.
Time for you to move out and live your life.

Minnegallore26 · 31/10/2018 15:56

I. Want to make it very clear I pay everything for myself and not mooching off him. But I feel I am contributing a lot more then he does and with my job I don’t earn that much so I have to streatch what I to cover everything. I help him pay a few bills but neither am I in a position to be paying everything like he expects.

OP posts:
Minnegallore26 · 31/10/2018 15:57

I am 43 and he is 79 and I don’t earn enough at my job

OP posts:
Meckity1 · 31/10/2018 17:55

Well, you can't get away if he takes all your money.

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