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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is flirting and what is being a good friend? Really I have no idea.

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NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 30/10/2018 19:55

Hard to explain and rather juvenile but I'm part of a large social group and everyone is convinced me and one of my best friends have a thing for each other and spend our time either flirting nonstop or bickering like a married couple or teaming up an annoying everyone around us (we both like to wind people up but our friends can't decided if we're more irritating when we're winding each other up or tag teaming and annoying them). As a result when we go out for meals someone sits between us because if we sit beside each other we poke or prod each other (I am incredibly ticklish and he knows that and I retaliate) but if we sit opposite each other we kick each other (not hard or 'accidently' knock or step on each others toes) because we're children Grin.

It amuses our other friends because we also play fight a lot, usually because he's taken my phone or glasses or is just being annoying so I retaliate and poke him or grab him to get whatever it is back or when he's humming or blowing in my ear and I put my hand over his mouth to stop it. One of our friends also managed to get several pictures of us having a tickle fight because that's the type of thing we do.

Doesn't help that I have drunkenly messaged him several times (which he is ridiculously smug and pleased with himself about) talking absolute nonsense but generally very flattering things (which is a double edged sword as I probably do think the things I messaged him, I don't lie so he's decided to take it as gospel but I'm also glad that I haven't ever messaged him anything mean because drunk me is an idiot) and he has tried many times to trick me into calling him a 'pet name' annoyingly I've almost called him it without thinking several times and now that word is an inside joke between us and synonymous with our relationship, (my family know because I mentioned it while drunk and some of my friends are aware of but no one he knows because he'd probably be embarrassed)

We've a good relationship that is equal parts teasing and annoying each other, helping each other out when we need it or knocking each other back to earth as we both have issues with over inflated egos at times, but our friends seem to take that all as flirting either intentional or not but flirting nonetheless and because neither of us behave like that with anyone else apparently that is proof we like each other.

TBH I wouldn't say no if he asked but I also love our relationship as it is. It's fun and easy and we are apparently alarmingly alike so we get each other and it's nice to spend time with someone, especially a guy who has an equally loud and domineering personality who isn't alarmed or threatened by a woman with a loud or domineering personality who won't take any crap and who won't take any of my crap either. I have a complex medical history that he and our other friends are aware of but unlike the others who treat me as 'delicate' in lots of ways and panic when I look even slightly ill, he doesn't but when I am ill or having an issue he deals with it without making a fuss then or after. I had a panic in a crowd so he acted like a human shield and coordinated our other two friends who were there to do the same without saying a word or making an issue out of it, I didn't even tell him I was having an issue but he noticed it minimised the issue and walked me through it another time when I was past the point of dealing with the crowd he just gave me his hand and led me out of it. (None of the helping with my health issues I'd consider flirting just being a good friend, I'd do the same for any of my other friends and I think he would too, he can be an arrogant sod but he's also quite sweet when he thinks no one is looking, I also think it has to do with the fact that he can read me very well when he struggles to read others) I have Aspergers Syndrome, which his dad and one of his siblings (and I strongly suspect he has in a mild form so undiagnosed) also has.

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