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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Major Mood swings-URGENT HELP

20 replies

Mummy6661 · 30/10/2018 13:30

So i was told i had depression about three months ago and was put on tablets. I have been so good up until last week. All of a sudden i started arguing more with my partner(who i love) and constantly feeling like he is going to leave me which makes me worse.
Its a cycle.
It got so bad that last Friday i just drunk myself silly and took a lot of tablets. I wouldn't say i tried to kill myself but at the same time i cant honestly say i wasnt.
Its like nothing is helping me at the minute.

When im good i feel like i could fly and do everything i wanted but then i can never tell how i am going to be in the morning which is even more worrying.
I have nightmares EVERYNIGHT, mostly about my boyfriend leaving me or arguing with him or just bad things in general.

What on earth is this? i mean im 20 now, im very sure it is not hormone related but something needs to be done. I want ot see the doctor but all they will do is put me on higher medication. Thats not a solution in my eyes.

Has anyone had these problems??

Any help will honestly be so good right now as i feel so isolated.

OP posts:

YelenaSabra · 30/10/2018 13:40

OP, how is all in your relationship? Are the fears coming internally from you, or is something amiss in the relationship? Has your partner given you a reason to think he will leave you?

Are you on any contraception? Between 17-19 my hormones and moods were a mess thanks to different pills. It could be worth discussing with your doctor.

I'd also advocate good old fashioned self love. You are worth it, even if your partner does leave you. Building up your self-esteem is a great place to start. Take time to do the little things you need to feel love. Be gentle with yourself please

Original poster

Mummy6661 · 30/10/2018 14:12

My relationship is what i believed started my depression.He went off the rails at the beginning of the year and eventually we broke up for a number of weeks.But we have been fine since but i keep having nightmares about it. Its really affecting us now

Ive been on the same pill since i was 13 as it was for my skin and acne.

Its a lot easier said then done im afraid. I feel so alone and just cant bring my self out of this at the minute.

OP posts:

YelenaSabra · 30/10/2018 14:18

Hi OP, it's important that you've realised that it was the relationship that started the depression. Sometimes we can think we are depressed or anxious when really we are in the wrong situation or with the wrong person. Miraculously, when we are with right people or in the right place, we can feel better. Understanding that the trigger for your depression was this relationship is a good place to start.

Can you explain how he went off the rails?

Perhaps your depression/anxiety is a warning from your gut that something is not right.

IMO a relationship should not make you feel depressed or anxious, it should be your place of safety.

Is he your first relationship? You are very young and it takes a while sometimes for us to learn what a proper relationship SHOULD feel like or look like. I'm still learning!

Don't be afraid. You always have YOU in your own corner.

Tell us more if you can.

FissionChips · 30/10/2018 14:20

You should tell the doctor about the highs and lows you’ve been experiencing on the tablets. Some people have bipolar without realising and antidepressants can send them into rapid cycling.
Obviously it not be that but it’s worth a chat with a doc.

YelenaSabra · 30/10/2018 14:22

Yes, fission is correct. Many women don't click that the contraceptive pill is just not working for them. I was a complete mess on mine and thought it was normal. Came off them and was nice as pie again. When you've been on them from a young age, you don't really have a sense of a hormonal normal for yourself. Antibiotics can help with the acne x

TatianaLarina · 30/10/2018 14:24

I think Fission was taking about antidepressants.

Bombardier25966 · 30/10/2018 14:27

Do you have children OP, could you be pregnant now?

Who do you live with?

FissionChips · 30/10/2018 14:28

I was talking about antidepressants, though I do agree that hormonal contraceptives can cause terrible moods. Seems unlikely if she’s been on the same contraceptive for 13 years though.

TatianaLarina · 30/10/2018 14:29

OP did your GP give you the antipressants or were they given by a psychiatrist after assessment?

YelenaSabra · 30/10/2018 14:29

Ah oops! Worth talking to GP about the anti-depressants and the pill. People do react differently to medications and if you've been on something a long time it can seem 'normal' simply because you have nothing to compare it to.

AdaArdor · 30/10/2018 18:51

It sounds like deep down your gut is screaming at you that you aren't secure in your relationship and you need to listen. You'll keep having dreams until you resolve it. What did he do when he went off the rails and how did you end up back together? Also, though, tell your doctor as others have mentioned - this is vital information for them to get you on the right treatment .

Original poster

Mummy6661 · 31/10/2018 09:45

so i went to the doctors yesterday and told them everything. His response was a higher dose of medication and giving me a number to call for the help line. This hasnt helped at all. How am i meant o get help.

My boyfriend bsically started doing drugs and completely treated me like shit. We broke up and when i tried to move on he completely changed and was himself again which is why we got back together but everytime there is a hurdle such as my depression, he runs and changes into a horrible nasty man.

It doesnt help and i cant get better

OP posts:

Bombardier25966 · 31/10/2018 09:49

You need to leave him.

Do you live together?

Mousey765 · 31/10/2018 09:52

What Fission said. SSRIs can exacerbate certain bipolar conditions. I would assume you have been put on an SSRI. However, your relationship circumstances seem so I am sure it is difficult to differentiate what started when and how it coincided with the initiation of your ADs. But use the phone line they gave you if you need to. The Samaratan are always an option as well If you are ever feeling low like you were previously when you drank and took the pills. Does the doctor know that happened? If not, please tell them. Its very relevant.

Has the doctor referred you for any other therapy- counselling, CBT, etc?

Mousey765 · 31/10/2018 09:52

Also, read the leaflet of your medication as odd dreams and nightmares are a side effect of some ADs.

AtrociousCircumstance · 31/10/2018 09:56

You don’t need more drugs. You don’t need any drugs.

You need to leave your boyfriend. You’re sacrificing your mental health and happiness to this awful relationship.

Someone who’s lovely sometimes but causes you to have major depressive episodes is not the man for you.

Free yourself, confide in friends, seek counselling or therapy, start doing stuff you love - your depression will shift.

Original poster

Mummy6661 · 31/10/2018 10:15

Its so much harder. When im strong we are so perfect then when i am weak he cant cope. I wouldnt say he is to blame for it, he just cant deal with problems.

I told the doctor everything that happend on Friday and he was no help. It felt as though he just wanted to rush me out for the next patient.

It might be in my head or i might be over exaggerating but i was reading up about Boarderline personality disorder. It felt so much like me . With attachement issues, i hate when he ignores me or when hes busy at work and cant rpely for a few hours i start panicking. Or when he goes out without me, i feel like the worst is happening.

My head is so messed up at the moment and i have no idea what it is or what i should do

OP posts:

Mousey765 · 31/10/2018 10:49

It sounds like there is a lot that is going on. Your relationship doesn't sound healthy from either of you. It isn't working. Beyond that it may be hard to decipher what is "you" (e.g. MH) and what is a result of the relationship.

Breaking up will help (in the long term, it will be painful in the short term).

But also, it does sound like you could do with visiting the doctor again. Perhaps ask to speak to a different doctor. Some doctors have better people skills and patience and understanding than others. Explain that you are worried that your issues are more than depression and tell them everything you told your other doctor.

TatianaLarina · 31/10/2018 11:16

OP - go back to your GP and insist on referral to a psychiatrist. You’re relatively young, so if necessary take an older adult with you.

GPs don’t have much mental health training and really shouldn’t be shelling out ADs willy nilly. He clearly hasn’t considered bipolar, and the other posters are right that some ADs can worsen the mood swings.

Not saying you do have it, I’ve no idea, but to establish precisely what is wrong you need a proper assessment from a psychiatrist.

Wrt your relationship - it is not helping you. And your bf may not be able to deal with your mental health issues. I would end the relationship and just be friends if you can find the strength.

ICESTAR · 01/11/2018 10:42

I think counselling would you help you op. Please get in touch with the mind charity. You can also refer yourself online sometimes for nhs counselling. Iapt touchstone plus your area. Try googling that. Your gp sounds useless. Maybe get in touch with women's aid for advice as he has been horrible to you. They have may have links to other places that can help you too . I'm so so sorry about your overdose.

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