Relationship advice as confused and have not idea what to think

[Daveg92]

Hi all after a bit of advice as I'm really confused.

My girlfriend of just under 6 months broke up with me on Sunday after we spent the weekend together for the first time in around 4 weeks. At the start of the relationship right up and till the start of October and things toke massive turn for the worst we were crazy for each other and always sending pictures and messages almost all day everyday and couldn't be apart from each other so much so I managed to get her a job in the same pub as me and all was going well untill recently when he dog had to be out down.

I've told her about a new job I've applied for which means that I would have to also move out of the pub I lived in and also get a car which she never really said much to and didn't take it very well or seem happy for me when I found out I got the job and would be leaving the place we first met, always worked in, and pretty much constantly always stayed in apart from when we went on holiday 2 months ago. I then found out that I would probably be moving out within in the next 2 weeks which when I told her she suddenly went really happy and excited and we had a long conversation about it all which was good.

So anyway the closer it got to me starting at my new job the more and more she didn't seem happy with me want to talk to me and atartee blaming me for things which I either cannot control or didn't do in the first place and started taking things very personally with everything I said and it came to the point where she didn't want to listen bout how I felt or what was on my mind and I said to her when I applied for the job it's likely to be a bad month untill I have everything sorted and back to normal eg the new job and moving out.

It's not been an easy month as I've not been myself and have been stressing about everything suddenly happening at once and got moody quickly at times however since around the 15yh October which is when I was told I had the job she's started talking to me less and kicked off other the tiniest thing I say sometimes.

Keeps telling me she doesn't love me right now and generally pushing me away and then this weekend just gone she stayed over for 2 nights then she went home for a few hours before coming back in to work after we had a laugh together in bed that morning and had lunch together. When she came back she came straight up and said she wasn't happy as apparently her dad had the first stage of a stroke on Saturday night which her mum told he minutes before she walked in then said she's breaking up with me and wants to be just mates and that's it sounding annoyed if not angry when she told me.

I said to her that this is the worst part of the month now at an end as I started my new job the next day and she's replied saying she doesn't love me and it doesn't matter yet when I asked her for how long she said 2 days for which I got annoyed about.

I sent her a message later that evening saying I hope we can work things out and not let things get in the way and she's straight away after finishing work for 2 weeks turned nasty saying she doesn't love me and doesn't want me in her life and to stay away and still hasn't given me a reason as to what's caused her to suddenly be this way then today I started my new job and find out she's unfriended me on Facebook and when I messaged her about it and asking her how she is all I get is we are not getting back together and when I asked again for a reason it was just I don't want you
Which I never replied to

I spoke to her dad this morning and told him the same thing you have just read and he has said she has never said a bad thing about me apart from compliments even the day before we broke up and said she has never been able to deal with changes easily and finds it hard to deal with but to give her some time and space for a few days or a couple of weeks and she will probably start talking to me again and said that if he wouldn't be talking to me the way he did if something bad had happened.

A few people she spoken to before I did have even said there's a high chance of us getting back together however I just don't know what to do or how to do it right now and would like to hear everybody's voices on this .

I'm really sorry about the essay but I didnt know how to explain everything in a paragraph. If it helps she did says she's feeling depressed and doesn't want to work at the pub anymore due to the way staff are treating her

You were in a relationship of sorts and now you are not. I'm not sure what you are wanting here?
Why are you speaking to her dad about it?
The only voice you need to 'hear' on this is hers.

What are you asking? Whether to persist despite her telling you it's over? Not advisable and pretty fucking creepy tbh

Give her some space, she's been quite clear despite it not being what you want to hear. She may come back when she's ready or it may be the end. Focus on your new job and if it's meant to be it will be.

It’s a very hard time for her if her dog has been put down and you are moving away at that time. And she is worried about her Dad.

If she has said it is over, and sent a pretty string signal that she doesn’t want to communicate more about that, then I am afraid you need to take no for an answer.

Obviously that is very upsetting for you and it is hard that she hasn’t given specific reasons, but it sounds like a very intense relationship for people who haven’t been together that long so either she just realised it wasn’t for her, or she has been upset by you moving away from the pub she now works in. Or there is some other factor.

But the answer is the same, you have to accept her decision, and stop contacting her.

I hope your new job gives you some distraction as you get through it.

I couldn't read your whole post it was too long so I skimmed a bit. She's told you more than once she doesn't love you. She then says her dad has had a stroke and you cried on his shoulder?
Strange

OP I'm afraid that the general advice applies: if she doesn't want to be with you there is nothing you can do.
It's understandable that you are upset and confused because you don't understand what happened. I think that all you can do (for your own sanity) is to write her a letter/email saying you don't understand what happened but will respect her decision...and then stick to it.
A relationship doesn't have to be hard work and you cannot have a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Your life is changing and so is hers. Focus on the good things, you will find your happy place.

She's said she doesn't love you and it's over. So bow out and leave her alone.

You must accept what she has said that she wants to end it even if it is hard for you.

Let it lie, she's been very clear she wants to end it. Respect her wishes rather than treatignjer like she doesn't know her own mind.

She may want to reconcile in future, but for now you need to walk away and get on with your life.