Heartbroken and thinking whats the point

[gmagnt]

some background:
My Dad died last week, I'm heartbroken as he was my favourite person in my life
I'm living in the UK but am Irish, funeral in Ireland.

My other half did not attend the funeral - I'm in shock. If it were the other way around I would not think twice about attending his parent's funeral.

Also, arrived home yesterday, it was my birthday. No card. No small gift.
Am thinking whats the point in any of this.

A partner means being in someone's corner surely.

For the record, money is not an issue -i.e. he could have afforded to come to the funeral & his work would have understood.
Right now I feel like walking out from my partner, my job,my life & going back to Ireland with my tail between my legs.

My paternal grandfather was Irish. Definitely move the fecker on once dust has settled on your Da passing (sorry for your loss).

Your expectations are def not too high, I'm shocked at this. What was he thinking!! Have you spoken about it since you've been back?

I've attended funerals of friend's parents who I haven't even met, just to support them!

You have every right to feel extremely hurt and let down .... I'm not sure I could get past this.

Don't think I could get past that gmagnt
When my mum died ,DH had just left for America on buisness. He arrived and got another flight back home.
The year before we lost our dd, DH did everything he could to make it easier for me.
Sorry for your loss.

Are you living together in rented or with a mortgage? Either way he has shown very clearly how much he thinks of you, which is very little. His lazy behaviour is disgusting, as pp said, he is not your only option. You can do waaaay better than this twat. I am sure your dad would want the very best for you

He did what?!!!
So, what did he have to say about it, bar the pathetic I’m worried I might not find the church?
Let the dust settle for a couple of days and then get rid, it’s not worth it
Sorry for your loss.

OMG what a horrible bastard, once you are strong enough get rid of him; he is showing you who he is, a selfish uncaring nasty git. So sorry for your loss.

Nazely I have reported your post

Op - what your partner did (or didn't do actually) is not right or decent.

Do not let time diminish his selfishness.

Do not forget he could not support you at one of your worst times.

Grief or not I'd be telling him to fuck off right now.

Often it is the big, life transformational things such as death that can make us re-think our life's and decisions, especially if we feel a partner is not being supportive or caring.

You are in the midst of a whirlwind of grief and I wouldn't make any quick decisions. Can you be with friends/family/supportive people? Journal how you feel? Do something for you?

Be gentle with yourself. Your priority should be YOU right now. Don't add more to your plate if you can help it. Bigger decisions will become clearer in time, as you work through the natural process of grief. Therapy might also be a great step to give you coping mechanisms at this difficult time.

OP, he ain’t your partner. End of.

It’s a cliche but it’s true - when someone tells you who they are, listen.
Your partner is telling you loudly and clearly that he’s a selfish unloving uncaring shit, who not only can’t be arsed to support you in your acute bereavement, but can’t even be bothered to get you a birthday card.
I would be miffed if a casual friend behaved like this - in a partner, it’s unforgivable. There is nothing left in this relationship, OP. Your partner has very evidently checked out of it.
I’d take some compassionate leave from work for the bereavement, and use the time to kick your useless selfish partner out of the house and your life. I’m so sorry that all this has happened at once. Sending a hug, and my prayers that you find comfort, and the strength to deal with it all. God bless.

Sorry for the death of your daddy. Irish here.... go home in time for the months mind. That way you have time to get your shit together. 10 years how fucking disrespectful. My husband came to all this kind of stuff early in our relationship and I dressed his mother's body when she died 16 months into our relationship. I.mentikn this because real genuine live means being there for someone. Even if be does not understand our culture of funerals and death you just get on with it. You deserve better than this. I promise you go home and start again. This is not a failing on your part and no tail between the legs... this is your life he is a c**t and you are not xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is such a hard time and your "partner" has just added to your suffering by his behaviour. This is unforgivable in my opinion. 10 years together and he couldnt come to your father's funeral or send you a birthday card. I wouldnt usually advise making a big decision at such a monumental moment in your life - yes, you are in shock and grieving and will be for some time. But, in this instance, I don't know how ANYONE would ever forgive their supposed partner for not coming to their parents funeral. I think it will just cause resentment, so depending on how strong you feel, end it now rather than in a years time. Honestly, this is literally inconceivable to me.

I’d only been with my now DH for 4 months when my grandma died. He took the whole week off work as he knew how upset I would be and obviously came to the funeral and wake with me. The fact that your dp didn’t make the effort to get you a bday present is terrible in itself. Not making an effort to go to your df funeral is unforgivable imo. He’s shown you his priorities, and you’re not one of deserve so much better. A clean break and a fresh start is what you need. I doubt you’ll ever forgive him. You’ll just end up resenting him and making yourself even more miserable if you stay