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ED issues

8 replies

nojb9ubv · 29/10/2018 12:58

In a relationship of several years. Both early 40s.

Sex has never been a massive part of our relationship, we went through a period where for various reasons we had very little sex (partner confessed porn addiction - which he has since successfully sought help for, also health problems on both sides) anyway we're getting over that now. Sort of. Except the last few occasions we've tried, he hasn't been able to maintain an erection during penetration.

He can manage 'by hand' (I have never been able to do this for him by hand or mouth, never an issue with previous partners so I don't think it's all me) himself so its not like he doesn't get hard or anything. He has said it might be related to medication he is on, but he's been on that same medication for a long time. He says he has to focus 100% and if he doesnt then he loses it. However this makes it harder for me because I now feel I cant say anything or move or whatever because if I distract his focus then it's game over.

I would say this focus issue has always been there but not as bad, so he would lose erection but get it back once or twice and eventually after 45 mins-an hour he would get there, but not now.

We talked about seeing his GP and he seemed receptive but I'm not sure if this is a physical issue or if its more psychological...is it just our age?

OP posts:
Meadowflowers · 29/10/2018 13:08

It's not your age. It sounds like it could be psychological though. Get him to try taking zinc and boron. Vitamins very good for men.

Donostiera · 29/10/2018 14:16

Oh gosh, I do sympathise. I've been trying to post my own thread about something similar but there's some kind of tech gremlin at work that repeatedly tells me I need to log in. I hope someone has some useful advice...

nojb9ubv · 29/10/2018 16:19

He doesn't believe in vitamins - that said he does eat a good balanced diet.

If it is psychological then it is probably linked to other issues he has around depression and anxiety - however I know he won't want to go on anti depressants because they apparently contribute to this sort of problem!

OP posts:
lifebeginswhen · 29/10/2018 16:22

So, this is a new problem? When did it start? What else was going on at the time it started? When you say he has overcome his porn addiction, what exactly do you mean? Did you have help/counselling together for that? What are the health problems - are they heart related (for him)?

nojb9ubv · 29/10/2018 16:45

This has just been in the last month. Prior to this we've only had sex as few times over the past year due to other issues but those times were fine, well he finished eventually.

The porn he sought counselling for and now doesnt really watch it at all. It wasn't a dealbreaker for me but it was more that he was quite dishonest about it (telling me he rarely watched it when in fact when I wasn't around it was mostly what he did!)

Health issues were gynae (me) and his are sciatic/back type. No heart thankfully.

OP posts:
sadiesnakes · 30/10/2018 00:39

He's obviously using porn again. If he was dishonest once he'll be dishonest again. It's a no brainer what this problem is really.

Birdie69 · 30/10/2018 00:50

Viagra is a wonderful drug - Cialis is also wonderful and lasts all weekend. Why not give it a try ? My DH had erectile dysfunction and wow, it works so well !

nojb9ubv · 30/10/2018 22:35

He definitely isn't watching porn to the extent he was. He used to work from home, he's now office based, and has an old style phone with no internet capability. There's limited times he could be watching it. I know he does watch it some of those times.

Thing is when he was watching it a lot (the entire first few years of our relationship) we didn't have this issue.

I think viagra may be the way to go.

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