When to file for divorce?

[Star1414]

How do you know when to file for divorce? My husband hit me for a few yrs before I called the polices. While in marriage counseling, I found out he has a tinder account. There are pros and cons to any decisions and I don’t know what to do.

Your statement doesn't suggest any pros to staying married?

Breaking up a family, dividing the money and assets, children don’t get to see their father daily, etc. I feel conflicted but at the same time I can’t move on with this man

I agree with Sometimeitrains
What are the pros?

Breaking up a family - DC could do without an abusive full-time male role model
dividing the money and assets - probably good for you in this insinuation.
children don’t get to see their father daily - again, do they need to see an abusive man every day???

Your pros all seem to be cons to me.
Have a chat with Womens Aid and see what separation would look like.
You get one shot at this life. Don't waste it with a nasty bully.

If you know just do it or the resentment will build and build!! if he was abusive in the marriage he will be just as abusive while divorcing!!
A man who hits his partner is no role model so the children not seeing their father everyday can only be a good thing!
You can also separate but not file for divorce or sort the finances out until your ready.

hellsbellsmelons makes sense.

If he's abusive and looking to get involved with other women while married to you he has broken his vows and provided grounds that the law say justify divorce.

The pros you present about staying married are not benefits but fears of what will happen if you end it.

Fear is a huge controller and demotivator which keeps us stuck in situations we may not want. In some cases we choose it as it's the safest option but not always the best one.

Only you can decide whether letting it control you is the best option in this instance.