does anyone have a younger half bro or sis.... may sound petty,...

[juicychops]

but me and my sister feel really cut out.

my mum and dad split when i was 11 and he met someone else. They had a baby together (my half sister)when i was 16 and they got married 4 years ago.

i am now 22 and my sister is 21. Our half sister is 6 1/2.

The 3 of them live about half hour away from me so i dont see them very often but speak to my dad on the phone avery couple of days. Me and my dad were so so close growing up but since he met my step mum we are no longer close as me and my sis have never really got on with out step mum.

We still dont get on with her but we make an effort for our dad.

But its like me and my sis arn't part of their life. we are seperate from them. There arn't even any photos of us in their house. its like we dont exist!

Today its fathers day and my dad, step mum, step-mum's dad, and our half sister have all gone out for a fathers day meal. Me and my sister wasn't even invited!!

I feel im being petty as we are gromn up now, but it's still hurtful that we arn't considered important part of his life anymore.

Ive tried talking to my dad about it in the past but it turned into an argument.

am i being petty? how would you feel?

juicychops - no, that was reasonable on your father's part. Ex-husbands should never visit their children at their ex-wives homes. There needs to be a clear delineation between homes, lives and families - you can't expect first and second wives' to be happy about a man flitting from house to house.

jucy

I have a half sister 25 years younger than me. I am 'excluded' from bds, father's day etc. (my parents divorced when I was 24 to give you an idea!). I don't think of my half sister as a sister due to age gap and no shared history but rather regard myself as a kindly aunt. He's got one photo of me in his house. .

What I would say is that kids from previous relationships do often feel left out. If you go there for a bd or christmas it's on 'their patch' you help give the impression of a united family and often go back to your own broken home.

However, as a compromise you should sometimes organise something for the three of you. Obviously your half sister is younger so gets him on father's sunday but why not do something on the saturday? You should have exclusive access to him as the 'old family' on the odd occasion as I do remember back the old days feeling resentful that I never got to see my dad on his own. Now we do the odd thing together just the two of us it's much better.

Mumsville is right. My partner does lots of things with each of his stepsons individually and as a threesome and we are all fine with that.

each of his sons

I think you are being a bit unreasonable tbh. You seem to blame your step-mum for alot of this, but you could have done something for father's day. Why should you be included in a meal with her dad and her family? Why couldn't you have visited him at his house? They are a family unit now and you are an adult. You sound as if you think are still "owed" by your father. You need to be pro-active in issuing invited for things such as father's day and include your half-sister & step-mum. They have probably got used to you not doing anything. Why should she or your dad be the ones to initiate things today?

Sorry, it seems like a rant. I am the setp-mother to 4 kids in their twenties, three of whom have grown up emotionally and one who still thinks that because her parents split up the world owes her. Guess who I make more effort with?

juicychops, I do feel for you. It sounds like your parents (and the blame shoudl really lie with both of them) did not handle things terribly well. Your father should never have promised you that he would come over and do the decorating. And chances are that your mother was not uninvolved in whatever went on.
(My dh was often asked by the nasty ex to come and do decorating for the kids at her house. I generally didn't object, but sometimes I did because it conflicted with something we had arranged. Dh's ex should never have asked him or put the children in a position where the asking was necessary. As a contrast, the nice ex asked dh if he would contribute to the cost of doing up their dd's room. We were happy to contribute money and helped buy all the furniture since we had a large car and they didn't. The end result was that her daughter felt loved and wanted because she got what was asked for as it was reasonable, and the other stepkids felt rejected and abandoned because they only got what they wanted some of the time.)
Anyway, all of that is to say that I feel bad that you suffered in the separation, but really the blame needs to go to your parents, not your stepmother. And in anycase, the best thing you can do is try to just put it in the past and start from fresh without being resentful and you may find that your contentedness with your relationship with your father improves because your relationship with your stepmother has improved.