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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it just me?

2 replies

Happyhousewife94 · 28/10/2018 16:33

Hi there everyone. I'm having some real problems with my mother in law and wanted to k ow what you all thought.

At first my mother in law and I were great friends but after the birth of my first daughter and moving out of her house she has been so controlling and in my opinion so childish. Which was a shock as I have known her going on 11 years now.

At first I thought she was concerned with my daughter as she thought she had autism she was 12 months old just beauce she wasn't as fast in her developments as her other grand child. 3 years down the line and every couple of months there is something wrong with my little girl , she's too skinny, she's a diabetic , she has adhd.

She has to have an opinion on everything we do she calls me to complain and moan about her son my husband she is always comparing him to his older brother. We reffer to my brother in law as the golden boy as she is always goingnon about how great he is. All he does is buy her shopping take her everywhete in the car , we cant afford to do that and to be honest my husband doesnt cheat lie, go out dribking frequently so dont know what all of that is about. If we don't do something her way she gives us the silent treatment or shouts at us or just makes us feel like we're the worst people in the world.

I'm not afraid to stand up for myself and have done but she then involves everyone or pulls the guilt trip which my husband falls for every time.

I suggested and I only had contact with her when it comes to her grandchildren and that would be it for me but afraid that would be hard as we live in the same little village and she already has another son, grandchildren and daughter in law who don't talk to her and she shouts abuse at her when she is dropping her kids off at school minding her own business.

There is always that fear of you have to do this or child social work will get involved or we need to buy branded shopping instead of a few value items. My husband is expected to go down to her house or phone every day . I get ignored when I message or phone now because I had MY mum at my house the other day. She has a problem with everyone else's friends and family bar her own.

I just don't know what to do anymore and one minute I'm angry the next I'm hurt by her. She has had a known past for shouting at people, spinning lies and being violent. I think she may be a narssicst as to everyone else she is the bees knees.

How would you all approach this?
Has anyone else had this and if so what did you do?
sorry for waffling on a bit

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 28/10/2018 17:19

Stop making her problems your problems. Disengage and ignore completely. If she wants to make a fool out of herself throwing tantrums, let her, but you don't have to listen to it.

Happyhousewife94 · 28/10/2018 17:35

I'll try That, that last time I did she turned up at my house without any warning and had a chat with my husband so he begged me to talk to her again for the sake of my kids. Think this time I will keep my foot down but sometimes harder said than done .

I would never ask my husband to stop contact with her but I can't help but wonder if that would be the best thing for our family.

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