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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Falling in love after being married 7y.Comletely lost!!!!

23 replies

mirabella · 17/06/2007 05:44

Well,the story is very difficult.I have been married to my dh for 7 year and we have a beautiful dd,2 y.o.we are not british.It has been all good til last month i met this guy.

I am a lapdancer and i met him at the club.Of course,i have met before different types of men.Buti never feltthis way before.I just go mad and mad about this guy.But he ismarried as wellAnd his wife is same nationality as i am.As he says there is a huge war between them and that he doesn't feel happy at home,and sex life is nowhere to be seen.They have 3 boys plus one stepson.

and the other problem my dh loes me to bits but sometimes i can't breath freely coz of his love.And he suspecting that i felt in love.

Forgot to mention,that this guy(BTW dh and him have the same names) is bloody rich.movie producer.

so,i don't know what to do.I am compleely hooked up on this man.He is very handsome,very sexy.It just never happened to me before.I don't want to be that person who brings unhappiness to people' lives but for the last weeks i have been so unhappy.The only time i've been happy is when i saw him.i haven'tdoneanything stupid yet.
So,the question is there any chance for me to be happy withanother man if i'll be the reason for two families to break up.or should i just put my gutstogehter and forget him.
gosh,i just really don't know what to do.

OP posts:

yogimum · 17/06/2007 06:13

The guy is married and he frequents lap dancing clubs, (no disrespect to your profession) I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot barge pole! He sounds like a loser!

LilyLoo · 17/06/2007 07:28

Mirabella really do think hard about this. Although it may seem you love him does he feel the same. His lines are as corny as they come regarding his wife. If it was just a bit of fun are you prepared to loose your husband and give up your life as it is now if a couple of months own the line it all fizzles out.
You have your son to consider and your husband. You really need to use this as a wake up call and sit down and talk to your husband about how unhappy you are. Believe me making a lot of other people unhappy won't make you feel better.

SittingBull · 17/06/2007 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

glyn · 17/06/2007 08:43

Agree! You'll meet men you fancy all your life, but that doesn't mean you run off with them! Take this for what it is- a flirtation that will only end in tears, and remember what you promised your husband,

cornsilk · 17/06/2007 08:49

Are you absolutely sure that everything that this guy has told you is true?

MellowMa · 17/06/2007 08:58

Message withdrawn

littlemissbossy · 17/06/2007 09:03

trip trap

Scanner · 17/06/2007 09:07

are you looking for the green grass on the other side?

luxlife · 17/06/2007 09:55

sounds like a fake to me...

obimomkanobi · 17/06/2007 14:14

Yes, I would throw away my marriage on the strength of meeting my knight in shining armour in a lap dancing club.

harrisey · 17/06/2007 16:16

fol-de-rol

dont think this one will be back.

BrothelSprouts · 17/06/2007 16:20

Most men in bars and clubs claim to be movie producers or pilots, IME.

BrothelSprouts · 17/06/2007 16:22

Well, the ones looking for a shag do, anyway!

handlemecarefully · 17/06/2007 16:24

Hi Mirabella

New to MN aren't you? In fact, this is your first post!

BrothelSprouts · 17/06/2007 16:25

Unless she's namechanged to protect the innocent?

handlemecarefully · 17/06/2007 16:33

Regular mumsnetters know to start with "I've changed my name for this...."

UCM · 17/06/2007 16:40

Are you bored then fish

Original poster

mirabella · 18/06/2007 15:17

Hi girls.
Yeah,I did change the nickname.
And please,don't compare me to Jordan.Gosh,Yack!

It may allsound so unreal but thi is what is happening to me and believe being a lapdancer for bloody 6 years i can see a difference between regular punters and somebody very untypical to this enviroment!

I am stuck.

OP posts:

Original poster

mirabella · 18/06/2007 15:20

And if it was lust or wish for a shag now i can barely sleep or eat.In fact,i can't dance anymore.

I think,i need to get over it and let it go.And if it was meant to be it will.

OP posts:

glyn · 18/06/2007 21:58

..if it was meant to be, it will...no you are the one to decide. You are right to think of letting it go- and yes,lust does do that to you! Not eating and not sleeping is not a sign of love- it is lust. We are programmed to feel like that for 2 years- biological fact- time to reproduce and rear the kids, then the feelings change to friendship. Don't believe it? Do some research!

Original poster

mirabella · 20/06/2007 14:33

Glyn-thank you for your text.I think you are ver right.You made me feel better.thank you!

OP posts:

tiredemma · 20/06/2007 14:37

If I had a pound for everytime I have heard of someone meeting a married man who 'doesnt sleep with his wife' I would be sat here now with a tummy tuck, shaped- pert breasts and a smaller nose.

mylittlestar · 20/06/2007 15:41

lol tiredemma!

my H was telling the woman he has just had an affair with that he wasn't sleeping with me... at all. he was seeing her for 6 months.
and for those 6 months we were having sex more than ever!

mirabella, I agree if it's meant to be it will be. If and when you are both out of your current relationships, you both still feel the same, then great. But I think you both need to deal with your current relationships before embarking on a new one...

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