Anyone ended a marriage due to spousal laziness/apathy

[ItsAndTarts]

Been with 'D'H 20 years now. He appears to be getting increasingly lazy. General apathetic attitude. Never sees things that need doing. I am feeling rather aggressive towards him lately and it's no way to live. Has anyone just thrown in the towel because it's too much to live with

I've given serious ultimatum.s, meant them, seen a solicitor and things have changed. For how long, who knows, but changed so far.

Is he depressed? Maybe you could try doing an activity together?

Ha! Never see things that need doing. Riiiight. More like doesn't give a shit because that boring shit is Its job and who cares if she's unhappy, that's not important.

Your partner not giving a shit about your happiness is a bloody good reason for the heave-ho.

Are you depressed? Maybe he could consider your feelings and suggest you do an activity together. Do you think he posting on any forums seeking help about how to recover this?

Wasn’t married but yep! He became utterly bone idle and aggressively defensive when I mentioned it. I’d clean up around him, walk around the house picking up his dirty washing, doing his washing, ironing, all the cooking. Make sure he had pack up every day, pay for all the shopping, organise every night out / holiday / gifts for family etc. He was emotionally lazy too. Didn’t care how I felt, would ignore me until I stopped crying, dismissed my feelings, told me to get over it (or told me I was mental).
I worked much longer hours than him. He’d get lots more time off. On his days off he wouldn’t even make the bed!
I remember once he actually did some washing. He stuck my black dry clean only suit jacket in the washer then left it in a screwed up ball when it came out. I looked at it and thought that just summed up how much he gave a shit about me.
I left 3 years ago. I tried to tell him beforehand to change but he stormed off and left me on my own in a pub. I’ve never once had a single regret about leaving and I doubt I’ll live with anyone again. He was shocked and hurt when I left and I did feel briefly bad but I blame him entirely. I loved him for a long time, I begged him to change. We could have had everything really.

As I said I’ve never looked back and I’m far far happier now than I ever was

Yep, felt more like a carer than a partner. I had to do all the thinking, all the organizing, all the "adulting". Called it a day probably two years after I should have, but it was such a relief.
I'm now married to a responsible adult.

Giving it serious thought here; he is depressed (has been for years, which he omitted to mention before i moved in) and does minimal home/kids stuff.

I feel like his mother; it's like having another child. He doesn't like it when I point it out to him.

It has really eroded my feelings for him.

I went to see a solicitor and made it clear that my intewas to dive him if he didn't pull his weight. He's still married to me and does an exceptable amount of the grunt work.

Thanks for all your thoughts.
No he's not depressed just plain self centred and lazy finds motivation to do things that he enjoys or benefits him for instance

Didn't end a marriage, I did end a relationship because of it. Honestly even if they are lazy, bone idle etc its the sheer lack of respect that did it for me.

This is a really interesting article on it, I read this not long ago and the man writing it has obviously learned from his errors etc but its still interesting

mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/