Hi,
I'm a student (no kids yet LOL) who is in my third year of university. I'm a gay male. I'm a bit of a nerd (not sporty at all) and most of my friends are girls.
Before I started attending my university I went to a very small specialised school for about a year. For no apparent reason that I can think of, a boy about 6 months older than me showed interest in me and wanting to be my friend. We had absolutely nothing whatsoever in common, but as my other close friend there was very busy with her relationship, I really enjoyed the attention. It was a roller coaster to say the least. We really enjoyed spending time together, and when it was just me and him we had some great mature conversations. However, he was a lot more of an "alpha male" type than me, and with his other friends was a completely different person, even around me. He would laugh at me in front of his friends and make me the butt of his jokes.
Towards the end of my time at that school, I started seeing another side to him. He would lecture me about my diet and that need to take acne medication. He also sometimes gave me the silent treatment (by that I mean literally not speaking to me, he was quite stubborn). I started becoming physically attracted to him about 4 months into knowing him. He would sometimes show signs of it too, and would tell me he loved me sometimes, but didn't really show it, and we were in this weird dynamic where he would call himself my "Dad" and that I was his "son."
Once we both left and I entered this university, his texts became nasty more and more often. If I felt down, he'd often make me feel worse with his texts, to the point that I'd sob. About three months into my first year at university after an argument, he just stopped talking to me. I missed him terribly, I reached out to him, but the very few occasions that he did answer me, they were long abusive texts about me, my lifestyle, etc.
Several months ago, he reached out to me and said he missed me. I was very skeptical about this, but I went for it anyway and replied to his text. I expected us to maybe have a long conversation for the entire night, but nope... took him two days to reply. He still claimed he wanted to be friends again though.
Recently I tried to pull him up on the way he behaved before, but he said he still felt justified.
Now, about 90 percent of the time I text him, I don't get a reply.
I know I really need to stop this, and this isn't healthy for me. I have a good relationship with my family and have some great friends, but I keep thinking he'll change. I know he's using me, but I still feel sorry for him. My friends don't like him at all, and I know I'd advise a friend to have nothing to do with him. I can't even try to have a healthy discussion with him because he doesn't bother to stay on top of his texts.
I can't block him because we're still involved in an activity related to a hobby and both have roles in it, and see each other once a year. The other people around me are amazing, but I'm single and lonely.
So my question is, how can I truely move on from him, when I still need to see him every once in awhile? And how do I not feel sorry for him anymore?
Sorry that was long. Thanks for reading.