DH says he might not love me anymore, don't know what to do?

[TiggernPooh2]

This may be a long one i'm affraid. Been married 6 years and the last 2 have been not good.

Had very difficult birth with ds and then pnd and moved house to new area when ds was 3 months. Dh was away most of the first year after ds was born so to help I stayed at my parents, dh did not like this.

As dh was away so and lack of sleep sex life was/is nearly non-existant. Things got a bit better (or so I thought) but dh had, lets just say indiscression!! last year. I took him back and he said he would wait as long as I needed for things to get better.

He has been away or working lots since then and things are just not getting resolved. Then last week he said he was not sure he loved me any more. This really upset me and now I don't know what to do. I love him and want things to work out, but is he right when he said there has been too much gone wrong?

Is he away working now?

Yes, back for about 2 hours tomorrow to see ds forfathers day then away till Wednesday.

Hopefully after that he will be at least coming home after work for the next few weeks.

Gosh what does he do? That must be a strain for any relationship him being away so much. Without wanting to upset you are you sure its all work?

So sorry to hear this tiggernpooh2....

I don't blame you for staying with your parents, especially if you were feeling vulnerable and lonely with the pnd and I think you are very understanding to forgive his indiscretion. If he is away a lot, it will be terribly difficult to get things back on an even keel......my DH works away four days a week and if we have argued on a sunday night he goes off on Monday without things being resolved and it is very hard sometimes.

Can he get some time off so that you can relax a bit together and discuss things properly. Or can you move to be closer to his job (its one of thigns my DH and I are considering).

Yes, know for sure its all work. He's in the forces and is always away for one thing or another. Don't have any concerns there (at the moment).

I am used to him being away. It's also something he text me the other day. I said I loved him and hoped one day he would feel the same again. He text back that I am feeling now how he has felt for months.

This not only upset me but made me really angry. He is never one to want to talk about things and I usually have to force out of him any feelings etc but if he had been feeling so bad I wished he had said and maybe it would not have got so bad. Also I had very good reasons to be slightly distant and not as attentive towards him i.e. pnd and the 'indiscression', which I am slowly feeling better about.

Got to sign off for the mo as ds is up from his nap and the chaos begins again, but will be back on later.

Hi Daisyboo,

Thanks, we live next to his work, he's just not there very often or working very long hours i.e. leaves home 5.30am back home 8-9pm then so tired just want to veg not have a wife 'want a talk'!!

No chance of any time off for a least the next couple of months and he is really being messed around with his work, which is not helping matters as he is really stressed.

Just feel in limbo and wonder if its worth hanging in there or calling it a day.

Maybe some defined time apart would help put both your feelings into perspective.....and give you both time to sort out where to go from here?

Maybe you are right. Just we spend so much time apart anyway not sure it will help but worth a thought.

I will try anything at the mo.