Hello....
I'm early 40's married with 3 kids. Happy and I love my husband etc.
We have a great life and I'm very lucky to have what I do. But as you guessed, that is not why people poston forums like this....maybe it's my age...
When I was younger I had a few boyfriends, nothing remarkable about me in that regard, I guess I loved them in the way I knew how to at that time if that makes sense. I loved them as strongly as I felt it, which looking back was not a lot more than a great fondness and desire to have sex with them and hang out with them at least at the beginning. I probably would have married the last one if things had continued. I knew nothing else.
When I was about 24/25 I met a guy through work that I slowly developed the most insane feelings for, I was totally overcome by it - as was he, or so he said but I have no reason not to believe him. I had a boyfriend at the time, so i basically engaged in what I now recognise was a prolonged emotional affair something I am not proud of.
Eventually I couldn't control it any longer and all the pent up desire came out and the relationship was wonderful for the first few months anyway.....
I used to think we had an invisible connection and all that stuff, i could feel him thinking about me, i would feel sick and giddy with excitement about him....and I used to literally cry with happiness at having found him, I couldn't believe how lucky I was. My body would twitch with electricity just speaking to him over electronic messages, i used to think my heart would explode.
I know it sounds absolutely and utterly ridiculous but it was "all that" I had never experienced anything like and suppose if you haven't you will roll your eyes. i would have thought someone telling me such an experience was possible before this, was on drugs.
Anyway - the relationship didn't work out, my parents, who are a big influence on my life (for various reasons I don't really want to get into) did not really approve of him (he was from a totally different background).
In the end I broke up with him believing i was ready and that it was for the best. I had persuaded myself that the relationship had run it's course, and I suppose it had...he was heartbroken, I at the time was sad but confident in was doing the right thing for us both.
I met my now husband around 6 months later and things were and have been great, but the truth is I have never felt anything like I had with the previous guy before and I now never will again.
And it makes me sad - I feel in low moments like the universe gave me this chance that a lot of people don't get, I felt like I was part of something bigger than me and now I've lost that and I'll never have it again.
It sounds absolutely insane writing it out, so that has helped. I obviously accept life is what it is and there's no going back, but I wonder if others have felt or feel the same way ?