Help and advice please, boyfriend stole from me.

[Lizzyweb12]

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone’s been in a similar situation to me and could offer some advice?

I’d been seeing someone for about six week up until last night when I found out an item of medication had gone missing from my flat. It was actuslly my chemotherapy and very important to me but it’s just disappeared. I usually take it last thing at night so I didn’t notice it had gone until 10pm when both myself and my ex were ready for bed. I kept it in the same place where I keep neurofen and all the other bits so everything’s always together and it helps me to remember taking it. Anyway it has gone from its usual place but nothing else had moved.

I make a point of keeping an eye on the chemo bottle as my hospital’s over 70 mile away and I can’t get another prescription without going seeing them for tests so it can be an effort going over it, and in any case it’s important that you can show you can handle it really and keep taking the doses at the right times, otherwise the docs start talking about if you can ‘cope’ and maybe it’s best to drop the dose and all that.

Anyway, I suspected almost straight away as there’s only me who been about since Monday night when I last had it and I live in a small flat so it’d be easy to find it if it had been moved accidentally. It’s no where.

My ex wasn’t much help but he knew what the bottle looked like even though I’d never actually showed it to him which was weird. Also didn’t suggest anything in the way of getting more pills, he knows I need to call my nurse if I have problems with anything and if it’d be me helping someone then I’d have offered to call whoever, at least. All he said was ‘you’ll just have to get more’.

I asked him to leave and he did without saying a word so that’s it. I had a couple of texts after he got home saying he was ‘gobsmacked’ that I thought he’d taken them but I’m totally sure he has.

I’m also really upset that he has been to my home and although at times he could be charming, he did have an edge and could be critical and negative over things, usually before he’d understood what they were about.

I’d report it to the police if I thought they could do something but I don’t think they can.

What drug was it? Might he be an addict?

Shitty situation for you :(

Is it a medication that would be if any benefit to him? You know like codeine or something he could sell on? Just wondering because other wise what would he have to gain? If it was something like this, consider it a lucky escape if you’ve only been together a short while. someone who would steal from a person who clearly needs this medication is beyond low imo. Who knows what else a person like that could be capable of! I’m sure you deserve better!

Anyway, I suspected almost straight away as there’s only me who been about since Monday night when I last had it and I live in a small flat so it’d be easy to find it if it had been moved accidentally.

Hang on, are you actually saying that you suspect that he broke in and took it while you weren't there?

Is your bf of 6 weeks now your ex?

Would the medication benefit him in any way? If not, I really don’t see why he would bother. Just seems odd

Thanks for your replies :) it was cabozantinib which is for kidney cancer, yeah it is supposed to be an expensive drug. Yeah he’s an ex now. No I just meant I suspected it could be him as soon as I noticed they’d gone, just because there’s absolutely no other way they could have moved if me or him hadn’t touched them. Probably a mistake, probably not and if you can’t tell, then it’s a mistake ha! x

I think she means he is now her ex, but at the time he was her boyfriend.

My ex stole my prescription pain medication. He used to help himself so eventually I had to hide stashes everywhere.

He was a hypochondriac so was forever making out he was dying and seemed to get jealous when I was ill or in hospital. He wouldn't just take over the counter medicine though but the doctors refused to prescribe him anything heavy duty.

One time I was in severe pain and I'd left out the packet - even though I was really bad he still finished off my last dose. I was in agony for half the night until I could get more the next day.

He said that I'd taken the last dose and forgotten but I know without any doubt he'd taken it as I was counting down the hours until I could take it and had worked out I'd be fine until the next day when I'd collect the next prescription.

I can’t see any reason why he would take them. There’s no benefit to him unless he is a crazy who believes that modern medicine is a sham and you need chakra energy healing or something.

Some people take it to sell on.

Some people take it to pretend it's theirs and as proof they are ill.

Some take antibiotics as they need them for STDs but don't want to go to doctors themselves.

Some people are kleptomaniacs and just steal because it's there.

How weird. I kind of wish someone would take my chemo as so bloody sick of the stuff.

But honestly this is bizarre. Obviously you were right to confront him.

Are you in the UK? I imagine there are countries where selling on anti-cancer meds is a lot easier.

Just seen your bit about the police. Honestly I don’t know if they can help. His fingerprints would be everywhere anyway, and I guess it depends whether there is a market for selling on the meds.

Priority #1 is obviously getting re-prescribed. Are you sorted with that?

What do you think he would have got out of it by stealing it in this case OP? What a horrible thing to happen when presumably you’d be hoping people would be being supportive, not running off with the drugs that may be able to save your life! What a foul act! Shudders.

If you have only known him for six weeks then you don’t know what he is capable of or if you can trust him.

Yes I phoned my nurse and said I was short until next week when I was going over to get my next prescription anyway, so I’ll get them today. Yeah that’s what bothered me the most actually, the fact that he didn’t seem all that concerned, I was stressing because I was worrying about missing and dose and how long it’d take them to sort it out at my clinic as they can’t do anything straight away, but he didn’t offer anything else apart from just getting some more?? Like they are given out at Boots hmmm... thank you for your supportive replies :) it’s not been a great couple of days but and sometimes you just feel bogged down and lonely but I feel a lot better now.