Me and my partner have been together for 9 years and overall it has been a good relationship. Over this last year things have gotten problematic. He doesn’t seem to appreciate anything I do for this family. He barely helps around the house, feel like I’m always at the bottom of his priority list, he never takes me out anywhere even when the kids are at their grandparents and we have free time, he never shows me any affection unless he wants sex! Literally! He never gives me a kiss when he’s home from work, there’s just no tenderness from him whatsoever unless he thinks he’s in with a chance. He tells me he loves me everyday but I think he’s just gotten into the habit of saying it cos he certainly doesn’t show it.
I’ve tried to talk to him but I get no where. The last couple of times I’ve raised the issue it just ends up with petty bickering and point scoring, so I tell him to leave and he just walks! Then I get stonewalled for days on end. When we do eventually talk things through he says he’ll change but it’s always back to normal after a couple of weeks. The last time we talked properly he said that I’m always moaning at him, I never initiate sex or show him any affection. So I took a good look at myself and how I am in the relationship tried to change some things. I stopped moaning all the time and learnt to let things slide, I started initiating sex and made it more exciting for him. I’ve showed him lots of affection, booked nights away but I get nothing in return.
My friend suggested that we separate for a while and he might realise what he’s got but I don’t know what I would tell the kids if I did. I know relationships need hard work but it just feels like it’s me putting in all the work and making changes to please him. I don’t want this to be the end of road for us but maybe it is. Any advise would be much appreciated