Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Third baby - will he change his mind?

3 replies

Kangaroo500 · 22/10/2018 18:48

Hey! I'm looking for a glimmer of hope! I have a DD age 4 and DS age 2 - both amazing and my life is so much better since they have been in it. Me and my OH have been together for 8 years and we are very happy. Would not change a thing but...Recently I've been feeling like I would like a third (and final!) baby. But my partner has expressed very clearly and firmly that he has no desire for any more children. The reasons he cites are mostly financial and also the sleep deprivation as we have had two poor sleepers! Anyway I do respect his feelings and I am happy to stay as we are but I just wondered whether people have experience of a partner doing a U turn on this decision so that I can cling onto some hope for a bit longer perhaps? Or should I just accept that he is unlikely to change his mind and be happy with my lot?! I am 33 and he is approaching 40 if that makes any difference?!

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 22/10/2018 19:01

We called it quits at two and in retrospect it was a good decision, especially now that we're faced with paying for university for them. I was open to a third but not zealously, DH was pretty opposed and never wavered.

It was fab when they were both out of nappies to be honest. Smile

MrsFrankDrebin · 22/10/2018 19:12

I, too, briefly floated the idea of a 3rd, but practically so much changes with a 3rd (and it's much more than the jump from 3 to 4).

Firstly, cars often need changing/upgrading. Secondly, sleeping arrangements (now, and in the future) need reassessing.

We often joke that two's enough - one for each hand. But now ours are in their early 20s, we have no regrets. Both financed through university, no change of car or house/sleeping arrangements when they were small. We have friends with who 'went for' a 3rd, and also friends who 'rounded up' to 4.

Without a doubt (ok, ages have a part to play, but can only go from our friends) that the one with 4 felt it made life, whilst not exactly easier (far from it!) but more 'even'. 3 is hard an odd number both in maths, and in families... but again, I must stress that I can only go from our friends' experiences! Many families find 3 is their perfect number!

We also experienced a MC at 13 weeks in between our two, and often wonder what life would have been like without DC2 that we do have, but I feel our decision to stop at 2 would have been the same.

Only you and your partner/husband can decide if it's right for you. It's a cliche, but children are for life - and not just to the age of 18. LIfe doesn't always legislate for the unexpected, so sometimes you have to compromise in the short term for the long term good.

Notacluewhatthisis · 22/10/2018 19:15

Sone change their mind. Some dont. Theres no way to tell.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.