What makes someone relationship material

[pinkpixie83]

As the title?

What makes someone the type of person who becomes a relationship person.

I've been single two years and been dating a year, but I seem to attract the guys who only want this kind of set up. I've been told over and over how I'm this great person but that they don't want a relationship. What is it about me that says that I'd be great for that and not for anything else.

Is it my kids? Not that anyone has even got vaguely close enough to be meeting them.
Is it because I'm clearly independent? Puts men off because I don't need looking after?
I don't get it. I'm not in anyone's pocket but time and time again this happens to me.

Maybe it's not that you aren't not relationship material.... it's that you tend to be attracted to men who aren't relationship material. IMO men who say "you're great but I don't want a relationship" say that to lots of women. It's not usually that they say it to a couple of women and then suddenly commit (although that does happen sometimes).

Sorry... an extra 'not' there.

I don't think it will be anything about you but if you are looking for a relationship then I would make that clear at the start. Then don't get involved with anyone who says they are not looking for a relationship.

Lots of men on dating sites won't be looking for relationships and some of them will behave as badly as you will put up with. Some will be married, some will be seeing several women and spinning them the same lines.

I don't think there is any "relationship material" as such, beyond obvious human values like honesty etc.

But I do feel that some people have a je ne sais quoi about them that makes them exciting. When you are dating online, what makes you stand out? What makes someone want to have a relationship with you rather than keep looking? Are you fun? Exciting? carefree? confident? Sexy? I am sure you are all that, but does it come across from your dates? From your profile? Do you demonstrate these qualities? Or are you appearing to be the same as the next person with the same hobbies of travel and food and TV?

Just my two cents.

I don't think it has anything to do with you, it's the people you're dating. You shouldn't change yourself to fit in with someone else's ideal.
If it's online, a lot of guys are just looking for hook ups or playing a lot of women at the same time. You're probably going for similar types of people and the pattern is being repeated.
Maybe try and get to know someone who's not your usual type and you may be pleasantly surprised.

Everyone I meet online wants to have a relationship with me (apologies for sounding like a massive twat ). One thing is, I tend not to be especially attracted to looks, but personality and I think that weeds out a lot of the players. Are you attracted to ‘jack the lad’ types who might be more likely to be looking for a hook up?

I doubt it’s that you’re too independant or that you have kids. I am independant and have a child, doesn’t put them off.