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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend liked naked instagram picture

11 replies

Enigma85 · 22/10/2018 12:04

Hi all,

First of I should probably say that I have insecurity issues that cause me an awful lot of anxiety in a relationship. However, he is someone I trust and he treats me well. I recently followed him on Instagram and had this feeling that it would cause me problems. He follows maybe 3 accounts of models.

He has had some issues with his own body, doesn't feel good enough and we have had some problems in the bedroom because of his insecurities, so to find he had liked a picture of a naked model (ok her post was about how you should look in the mirror every day and love your body etc, but she's still butt naked) has obviously triggered my insecurities.

The other issue is his dad has recently been diagnosed with cancer, 3 weeks ago, chemo starts Tuesday - would it be totally outrageous of me to mention the Instagram post and how disrespectful I find it?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Kennycalmit · 22/10/2018 12:32

Don’t use his dad’s cancer, that’s not right. It has absolutely nothing to do with him liking this photo Confused if you’re gunna speak to him about it at least admit it’s because it upset you, don’t use his dad’s cancer diagnoses. That’s a bit wrong.

My DP isn’t really into social media. Personally this wouldn’t bother me. She’s a model, it’s probably an atttactive photo. Nothing is ever gunna happen. If he was liking half naked photos of somebody he worked with then yeah that’d be a little different

I think it’s just your insecurities.

Enigma85 · 22/10/2018 12:34

Sorry I don't really know what you mean about using the cancer, I just meant that considering he is already going through a lot with his dad wouldn't it be really insensitive of me to mention a picture?

OP posts:
FingersOnBuzzzers · 22/10/2018 12:39

You can discuss it with him without making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. He obviously has a lot to deal with just now with his dad's cancer diagnosis but there's absolutely no reason why you can't still talk to him about liking the photo. Maybe say something like,

"I saw that you liked a picture of a naked model on Instagram. I'm not annoyed at you but I just wanted to let you know this makes me feel a bit insecure and I'd really appreciate it if you maybe don't like pictures like that in future".

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/10/2018 12:59

Are you happy for him to look at the pictures but not “like” them? Or is it the looking in the first place you’re unhappy about? Because if it’s the latter, I’m not really sure what you’d achieve by talking about it. You can’t own the inside of somebody’s head and forbid them to look at pictures and appreciate them.

I’m sure others will come along and say that he’s a twat for looking at pictures of anybody other than you. But honestly, I think that if you’ve reached a point where you want to forbid your partner from finding other people attractive, you need to consider whether being in the relationship is the right thing for you.

youbrokemytwatometer · 22/10/2018 13:04

@Kennycalmit you've misinterpreted the OP terribly

youbrokemytwatometer · 22/10/2018 13:08

OP, personally, I find it a bit sleazy when people like pictures of naked women/men on social media, but perhaps it really was about the message, for him?

Even if not, that's who he is and what he likes to do. You can discuss it, tell him how it makes you feel, but also be prepared that he may not be willing to change and that's also fair enough.

Enigma85 · 22/10/2018 13:09

Honestly I think even writing this has helped me, I think it's my own insecurities especially considering I went looking to see what he was up to. I probably would have kept looking until I found something anyway...

OP posts:
Enigma85 · 22/10/2018 15:24

Ok I'm doubting myself again. The account is a fitness one, but she posts half naked all the time to show her massive muscly ass that she has made.

I know he has body issues, and the message this woman was sending about loving yourself is a good one, but it still has massively triggered my anxiety. I know people in relationships can find others attractive, but I think it's that I can now see evidence of this. So do I block him, try to ignore it and stop looking, or talk to him and ask him not to 'like' the pictures?

OP posts:
Babyg1995 · 22/10/2018 16:05

If he treats you well I don't see the problemi like half naked pictures of Tom Hardy my dp doesnt bat an eye lid as he drools over Rhianna I don't care it's not like there ever gonna meet up and have wild sex Hmm
Honestly op he's doing nothing wrong if I were you I would work on my self esteem.

Bluntness100 · 22/10/2018 16:11

but she posts half naked all the time to show her massive muscly ass that she has made

Is it kim kardashian?

Anyways, he's not hiding it. I can't think he will ever meet her, so not really seeing the issue. Although am sure lots of folks will tell you that it's disrespectful and upon meeting you he should never glance appreciatively at another woman again. In fact he should really have died from the waist down unless in your presence.

Kennycalmit · 22/10/2018 17:22

Sorry OP I read your post wrong. My mistake!

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