Need some advice about RELATE. Anyone used RELATE???

[drosophila]

I have a friend (honest) who has been having problems in her relationship for a number of years. She is nearing the end of her tether and had started to look at the practical implications of being a lone parent. She is the only breadwinner but there are other things to consider. I really think she is going to ask him to leave. I suggested Relate and she said she would go. She is going to say to him that she has made an apt and she is going with or without him.

My question is does Relate ever help couples break up. I really don't think he will change and neither does she so I can't see what good it will do them as a couple to go to Relate but I think that if they can help her communicate to him what she feels then something may change but I wonder if what they will do is help her communicate her desire to split.

Also is there a long waiting list or does that depend where you live.

Grateful for any advice.

Yes they do, and Yes it depends on the area. You can often get an assessment quite quickly. If you can be seen during the day you will get an appointment more quickly.

Hope your friend and her partner go, as it could make the outcome less painful, whichever way it goes.

from what I know relate is a counselling service so they help you clarify your own thoughts and feelings bout relationships.

I know some people who went and after a few sessions were able to see that they could not stay together but were in a much better amicable place to start the process of seperation.

Others go and it saves their marriage.

Go dI hope it helps one way or the other. All I know is she can't keep going like this. SHe goes round and round in circles saying the same things and on it goes. We have all been there ot some extent but when you see it at this level it is hard ot watch.

Her mother is telling her if she don't leave him she will kill him.

if she won't go buy her one of the books - they are really really good.

I went to Relate when me and MrMoomin the 1st broke up. I wanted them to tell him off and make him stay with me but of course they couldn't! He stopped going after a few sessions but I carried on on my own, initally to try to get support with 'mending' the marriage but when it became apparent that wasn't going to happen, my counsellor helped me get through the break-up. I would definitely recommend it in that respect: she was fabulous and really helped me through a very very hard period.

I think Relate can help you have a 'good' divorce. Particularly if they have kids, that's a valuable thing.