Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

stay and try or start again???

3 replies

wakeupandcarryon85 · 22/10/2018 02:49

I have been with my partner for 5yrs. We have 3 children, 2 together and one from my previous relationship. We have had many obstacles thrown in our way over the years - depression, bancruptcy and now my partner has revealed he has a gambling problem. We never seem to stop arguing and mostly its over stupid, meaningless things and we are being torn apart. Is love enough to make a relationship work as i love him with all my heart and know he loves me but cant get back to that happy place which made my head, stomach and whole world flip upside down. Am i asking too much? or is here an actual point in time when love just isnt enough to carry you through? I want to save my family but in the meantime not damage our children with all the arguing in the process! Really would love to hear your thoughts and opinions as im truly lost!!

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 22/10/2018 04:30

If love were enough no relationship would ever fail. Constant arguing is doing enormous damage to your children, and from what I can tell, you can't trust him. Love without trust is like the Titanic not having enough lifeboats. There will never be a happy ending.

operaha · 22/10/2018 09:35

I'm in a similar situation, no kids together or gambling but financial issues in his part and I don't trust him.

I don't think there will be a happy ending for us, I don't know how you ever rebuild trust. I'm so sad and low with it all.
Sorry no help at all, I'm lost!!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/10/2018 10:03

What are you getting out of this relationship?. Its over and has been also for some considerable time.

There is one way this will go still and that is down. Its no life for you or your children to be witnessing.

Was the bankruptcy related to his gambling?. Love is not enough here, not nearly enough and I am wondering if you are confusing this too with codependency. This is not and has never been a mutually loving relationship. This man's primary relationship is with his gambling addiction, its not you. This is who he is; the man you fell for was an act.

If you really do want to save your family you would now act decisively here to get your gambling partner out of your day to day lives. He is still dragging you all down with him into his pit.

Flip